He Laughed Again

“I was thinking about Brussels Sprouts.”

While Sister Madly appreciates those individuals who speak their minds, she finds that there are some things better left unsaid.

littlegreenballs

“You are joining us for the game, aren’t you, Sister Madly?”

Many, many things better left unsaid…

February has always been her least favorite month- so why not start it out by spending an evening playing Settlers of Catan while giving a bowl of Brussels Sprouts the evil eye?

“It’s the Seahawks, you know.”

So why not start it out by passing a bowl of Brussels Sprouts around the table while playing Settlers of Catan with the Seahawks?

“The Super Bowl, Sister Madly. Don’t tell me you forgot.”

It’s not that she forgot, so much, as she didn’t give a hill of beans. Sister Madly is biologically programmed to tune out most sportscasts; the same also goes for commercials, bad music, politics and warfare not involving medieval weaponry. Besides- does Sister Madly look like she watches the Super Bowl?*

*Apparently, it is impossible to tell if one watches the Super Bowl based on appearance alone.

“At least come by for the commercials,” the Professor said. “Do you like calamari?”

20000

For those of you who are not in the know, calamari is the stuff they use to make Subaru tires. The world may try to tell you that it’s an itty-bitty squid, but this is false information. Read 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea; squids are big and mean and harbor a vendetta against all mankind.

Thus Sister Madly decided early on to go to the necessary lengths as to not be hungry when attending this soiree, therefore she would not be tempted by the Subaru tires, nor by the forbidden fruit.

Oh sure, Sister Madly, as if a serpent could tempt anyone with a Brussels Sprout. They are nothing but pretentious little cabbages that taste like dirt- hardly the cause of Original Sin. Then again, it was not the fruit, itself, that was the Sin; but the tasting of it. And while artists depict the fruit as an apple, no one really knows for certain- and Brussels Sprouts grow on stalks, which could easily be mistaken for a fruit by one who does not know any better.

And so on the first of February, Sister Madly found herself back in the kitchen of freshly stenciled birds – and we all know how THAT came about! – with a box of books for the Professors to go through before she donated them to unsuspecting households around town- that is, those with brightly colored boxes in their front yards, containing books free for the taking. While some call these Little Libraries, Sister Madly has come to know them as Book Disposals: the ideal way to get rid of those books that did not tickle her fancy- under the guise of generosity, of course. Also, this is done only at night.

lil library

It wasn’t long before one of the Professors started sifting through her box. While she expected the usual commentary, she was not expecting the look of utter dismay when he came across Notes From Underground.

“Why are you getting rid of this?”

You’re absolutely right, Professor; she had fully intended for that book to end up in the dumpster, bypassing the Little Libraries entirely. Sister Madly may be impish in her ways, but she finds no reason to be downright sadistic to an unsuspecting public.

Yes, nothing says Party! like a dissertation on the Russian Masters over fried Subaru tires and bowls of Original Sin. The Professor said that Dostoevsky is one of those authors whose work he could recognize from a single passage- not only the by content, but by the individual syntax and style that is unique to the writer.

Are you saying, Professor, that you could name a book from a single sentence?

This Professor considered himself well-versed in the classics, and while he was confident that he could do just that from a paragraph, his gin and tonic said there was a good chance he could do the same from a single sentence.

And so Sister Madly pulled a book from the shelf- indeed, a classic- and read the first line she came across:

He laughed again.

The Professor did not answer, but rather stared at her with that dull incredulity that has become so familiar. No doubt this scenario went a whole lot better in his head.

Yes, even with Brussels Sprouts, you can still have a perfect moment.

dorian gray

‘He laughed again’- from Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray. If you did not know this, you haven’t been studying your literature.

POST’S THEME SONG: It’s a Sin, Pet Shop Boys

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24 responses

  1. Seriously little green balls of death for brussels sprouts??!! LOL! You’ve taught me something new yet again 😉

    Like

    February 5, 2015 at 6:13 AM

    • Sister Madly

      Seems like an appropriate name to me. They are fun to throw at people, however…

      Like

      February 5, 2015 at 12:12 PM

  2. Reblogged this on hocuspocus13 and commented:
    jinxx ♠ xoxo

    Like

    February 5, 2015 at 6:36 AM

    • Sister Madly

      Thank you!!

      Like

      February 5, 2015 at 12:11 PM

  3. Matthias

    You rarely fail to make me smile and laugh with your stories, Sister Madly. I always look forward to your posts. Your dark, cynical humor (usually seen as negative descriptions) delights my heart to no end. Having read you post in the morning, your dark, cynical humor his given another seemingly mundane day, a brilliant light and enjoyment within me, since I don’t merely read your posts and move on. I contemplate them for hours, and even for days at times. They leave an imprint on my mind, so they can delight me whenever I desire to recall them, causing me to chuckle at unexpected times, leaving the people around me perplex by my unusual behavior. It is nothing new. I am unusual by nature. It is the joy of being me.

    Like

    February 5, 2015 at 6:57 AM

    • Sister Madly

      It’s good to keep people unsettled with seemingly unprovoked laughter. It makes the world think you’re up to something.

      Once again, you’ve given me praise that I’m not sure I deserve, but I do appreciate it. Thank you.

      (And I WILL get back to your email!)

      Liked by 1 person

      February 5, 2015 at 12:36 PM

      • Matthias

        It’s not praise, Sister Madly. It is the truth as I perceive it. I’m not going to degrade you with praise. If I was going to degrade someone, I would do it right and make them feel like crap. I only speak the truth as I see it and experience it. You make me smile and laugh, as well as think. All these things are actions and emotions that are alive and real.

        Liked by 1 person

        February 5, 2015 at 1:20 PM

  4. Dirty birds and dirty vegetables . I fear to there may have been a traumatic incident during the days of the pompom hat on the Shores of Hell involving Seagulls and a pan of Bubble and Squeak.

    Now moppet to be fair, we all glaze over like that when having collar buttons described to their NTH degree. “Going Rasputin” on them, MAD MONKeying around so to speak to restore them to usual function is acceptable!

    Like

    February 5, 2015 at 6:58 AM

    • Sister Madly

      The very sight of a Brussels Sprout is enough to induce fits in a young child. Fortunately, as time progressed, I have discovered what intrepid little projectiles these tiny cabbages can be, which far outweighs the benefits of consumption.

      One can glaze over for only so long. Then, one must make one’s own entertainment…

      Like

      February 5, 2015 at 12:48 PM

      • Glaze over … Sprouts L’ Orange? The Adventures Buckarooette Brussels in the Food Dimension? Live action or Claymation? Rating PG, pretty gross or G, gawdawful?

        Hope these ideas help!

        Liked by 1 person

        February 5, 2015 at 1:33 PM

  5. I love squid tires! The Picture of Dorian Gray is one of my all time favorite films. (the version in the pictures) Oh, and I despise Brussels sprouts! 🙂

    Like

    February 5, 2015 at 7:45 AM

    • Sister Madly

      The fact that you like squid is evidence that you have been chosen to rid the world of these vile creatures. Now go forth, and make the ocean a safer place- after which we will watch The Picture of Dorian Gray, sans tiny pretentious cabbages!

      Like

      February 5, 2015 at 12:11 PM

  6. Singing the praise of brussel sprouts!!!! A convert to them late in life but roasting them with pancetta and garlic….you might even stop giving them an evil eye unlike ALL the evil eyes being given to Pete Carrol!

    Like

    February 5, 2015 at 4:57 PM

    • Sister Madly

      Sounds delicious- except for the Brussels Sprout part.

      But miracles do happen. ;c)

      Like

      February 5, 2015 at 5:12 PM

  7. This was hilarious. But I do love Brussels sprouts.

    Like

    February 5, 2015 at 6:59 PM

    • Sister Madly

      Thank you!!

      The campaign for Brussels Sprouts seems to be growing. Perhaps they are, indeed, Original Sin.

      Liked by 1 person

      February 5, 2015 at 7:24 PM

  8. Utterly delightful, as usual. And the Professor got his comeuppance. 🙂 A well-rounded evening, methinks.

    Like

    February 6, 2015 at 4:50 AM

    • Sister Madly

      Thank you! I’m sure his bravado was due to the fact that he was a wee bit tipsy… but it was still a satisfying moment. ;c)

      Like

      February 6, 2015 at 2:19 PM

  9. As you know I sometimes have secondary and even tertiary sudden occurrences.

    Ah, uhm, this Dystopian town with the books walking around, you wouldn’t have a neighbour by name of Guy Montag would you?

    Like

    February 7, 2015 at 10:46 AM

    • Sister Madly

      Hardly.

      Besides… there are worse crimes than burning books.

      Liked by 1 person

      February 7, 2015 at 11:22 AM

      • Agreed. Currently book burning is number 4 on my list and I’m expecting it to move to number 3 PDQ!

        Liked by 1 person

        February 7, 2015 at 2:44 PM

  10. Every time I read your posts I laugh hard and hubby comes to have me read it to him as well. Laughter is the best medicine-thank you.

    I’ve never seen this little book thingy’s. I assume you are in a dry climate?

    Liked by 1 person

    February 12, 2015 at 8:32 PM

    • Sister Madly

      Thank you!! I don’t think I could make this up if I tried. I am glad that you can reap the benefits. ;c)

      These libraries have been around town for several years now, and I understand it’s a trend that is spreading across the States. I live in the Pacific Northwest, so it’s the rainy season, but I haven’t noticed it affecting the books. Maybe I’ve just gotten use to the damp…? Nah- never going to happen!

      Liked by 1 person

      February 12, 2015 at 9:22 PM

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