He Laughed Again

“I was thinking about Brussels Sprouts.”

While Sister Madly appreciates those individuals who speak their minds, she finds that there are some things better left unsaid.

“You are joining us for the game, aren’t you, Sister Madly?”

Many, many things better left unsaid…

February has always been her least favorite month- so why not start it out by spending an evening playing Settlers of Catan while giving a bowl of Brussels Sprouts the evil eye?

“It’s the Seahawks, you know.”

So why not start it out by passing a bowl of Brussels Sprouts around the table while playing Settlers of Catan with the Seahawks?

“The Super Bowl, Sister Madly. Don’t tell me you forgot.”

It’s not that she forgot, so much, as she didn’t give a hill of beans. Sister Madly is biologically programmed to tune out most sportscasts; the same also goes for commercials, bad music, politics and warfare not involving medieval weaponry. Besides- does Sister Madly look like she watches the Super Bowl?*

*Apparently, it is impossible to tell if one watches the Super Bowl based on appearance alone.

“At least come by for the commercials,” the Professor said. “Do you like calamari?”

For those of you who are not in the know, calamari is the stuff they use to make Subaru tires. The world may try to tell you that it’s an itty-bitty squid, but this is false information. Read 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea; squids are big and mean and harbor a vendetta against all mankind.

Thus Sister Madly decided early on to go to the necessary lengths as to not be hungry when attending this soiree, therefore she would not be tempted by the Subaru tires, nor by the forbidden fruit.

Oh sure, Sister Madly, as if a serpent could tempt anyone with a Brussels Sprout. They are nothing but pretentious little cabbages that taste like dirt- hardly the cause of Original Sin. Then again, it was not the fruit, itself, that was the Sin; but the tasting of it. And while artists depict the fruit as an apple, no one really knows for certain- and Brussels Sprouts grow on stalks, which could easily be mistaken for a fruit by one who does not know any better.

And so on the first of February, Sister Madly found herself back in the kitchen of freshly stenciled birds – and we all know how THAT came about! – with a box of books for the Professors to go through before she donated them to unsuspecting households around town- that is, those with brightly colored boxes in their front yards, containing books free for the taking. While some call these Little Libraries, Sister Madly has come to know them as Book Disposals: the ideal way to get rid of those books that did not tickle her fancy- under the guise of generosity, of course. Also, this is done only at night.

It wasn’t long before one of the Professors started sifting through her box. While she expected the usual commentary, she was not expecting the look of utter dismay when he came across Notes From Underground.

“Why are you getting rid of this?”

You’re absolutely right, Professor; she had fully intended for that book to end up in the dumpster, bypassing the Little Libraries entirely. Sister Madly may be impish in her ways, but she finds no reason to be downright sadistic to an unsuspecting public.

Yes, nothing says Party! like a dissertation on the Russian Masters over fried Subaru tires and bowls of Original Sin. The Professor said that Dostoevsky is one of those authors whose work he could recognize from a single passage- not only the by content, but by the individual syntax and style that is unique to the writer.

Are you saying, Professor, that you could name a book from a single sentence?

This Professor considered himself well-versed in the classics, and while he was confident that he could do just that from a paragraph, his gin and tonic said there was a good chance he could do the same from a single sentence.

And so Sister Madly pulled a book from the shelf- indeed, a classic- and read the first line she came across:

He laughed again.

The Professor did not answer, but rather stared at her with that dull incredulity that has become so familiar. No doubt this scenario went a whole lot better in his head.

Yes, even with Brussels Sprouts, you can still have a perfect moment.

‘He laughed again’- from Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray. If you did not know this, you haven’t been studying your literature.

POST’S THEME SONG: It’s a Sin, Pet Shop Boys