A Plague of Effigies

With 2014 drawn, quartered and stuffed safely down the garbage disposal, Sister Madly has decided to embrace the New Year with a new pair of fuzzy socks and some freshly sharpened machetes.

And one Old Acquaintance who refuses to be forgot.

Like most of the population, Sister Madly was looking forward to leaving that rotten year behind; in fact, she didn’t think things could get much worse- that is, until one morning last week, when this effigy was delivered to her by Tallulah an agent under the guise of holiday cheer:

effigy

It was one thing when the Dodo was attacking her on his own power, with search engine terms and exploding onion containers, but now he’s involving innocent parties and she just will not tolerate it. Why, some of you have even sent her Dodo pictures, which she chalked up to your murky sense of humor- and couldn’t help but admire- but never once did she wonder whether or not the Dodo was behind that onslaught.

Until now.

But are they really innocent parties, Sister Madly? Did you ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe, they know exactly what they are doing? Consider the evidence, Sister Madly, the batting cages and driving ranges and the ever-increasing I just happened to have chopped some onions right before you got here coincidences. You can‘t deny that those smiles have been anything but hollow as of late, or that there may have been more behind the wicked glint in their eyes than the usual Christmas Mischief.

pd raven love

Yes, Sister Madly: the Tofurky just got real.

Perhaps she is to somewhat blame. She should have taken precautions against this epidemic by supplying her friends with Dum Dums and anti-Dodo propaganda. She should have warned them of his charisma and his trickery. She should have given them peanut brittle.

But then came this horrifying thought: what if her friends had accepted this invitation into the Abyss not by the Dodo’s usual deception, but of their own free will? One really couldn’t expect much else from a crowd who is genetically drawn to Hall and Oates. It wasn’t long before they were stenciling birds on their kitchen cupboards and feeding the ravens cat treats- the Christmas Party was just lousy with Dodo Worship with a flagrant display of such rituals. Apparently, all one needs to achieve low-ranking divinity here on earth is to adorn oneself with a crow’s beak and a black nightie. Who needs integrity when you’ve got loads of style and a jar full of leeches?

But even as Sister Madly lamented this betrayal of loyalties, she found herself succumbing to some inexplicable force that compelled her to do this to a photo on her refrigerator:

effigy fun

No, Sister Madly- you cannot start having fun with this effigy. That is a sure sign that you are falling under his spell; one might even say it is the first symptom of the Plague, itself. It won‘t be long before you are building altars and sacrificing Dum Dums in the name of the Dodo, declaring how you would give your right hand for the honor of his blessing.* Come Halloween, you will be happily terrorizing the town in his very image- and did you notice, Sister Madly, how you just smiled oh-so-slightly at the thought? There was a time when this would have worried you.

*Well, somebody’s right hand, anyway.

You know, lobotomies only sound scary…

Faced with the possibility of an outbreak, she decided that the best way to safeguard against the Plague is to lay low and avoid contact with those infected until the epidemic has passed. Should you be in need of Sister Madly, she will be curled up inside your sock drawer- just give her a cider now and then, and she’ll behave herself.

POST’S THEME SONG: Birdhouse in Your Soul, They Might Be Giants


Image 2) skia.deviantart.com

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39 responses

  1. I love that TMBG song. I’m glad someone else remembers it!

    Liked by 1 person

    January 1, 2015 at 4:45 AM

    • Sister Madly

      Such a fun song! While I always sang along, it wasn’t until recently that I found out it’s sung from the viewpoint of a Blue Canary Nightlight.

      Must start paying attention to lyrics from here on out…

      Liked by 1 person

      January 1, 2015 at 5:48 PM

  2. dara40

    Love the imagery

    Liked by 1 person

    January 1, 2015 at 4:47 AM

    • Sister Madly

      Thank you! (although, that may be due to experiencing the whole thing first hand) 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      January 1, 2015 at 5:52 PM

  3. Happy New Year to you, O Sister M. And, nice theme song.

    Like

    January 1, 2015 at 8:07 AM

    • Sister Madly

      And a Happy New Year to you as well! Indeed, a fun little ditty to start off the New Year, for once…

      Liked by 1 person

      January 1, 2015 at 5:54 PM

  4. An epiphany among effigy. Only Sister Madly could achieve such illumination, such brilliance, such paranoia.

    I now understand the manifestations of the flashing neon light outside my alternative coffee spot. Morse Code, and what I thought was “S.O.S.” (my code is rusty) was in actuality, “S.D.S.” and yes I understood the words it was forming, “STOP DODO STOP”. In that nekid light I saw, 10,000 Dodo’s maybe more.

    Then again perhaps, just perhaps, I completely misunderstood and it meant, “SOCK DRAWER SAFETY”.

    Stay warm and safe inside in sanity Majik Moppet!

    Haunting refrain courtesy of, “Simon and Garfunkel — The Sound of Silence “

    Liked by 1 person

    January 1, 2015 at 11:15 AM

    • Sister Madly

      It’s not paranoia if it’s true!!!

      And beware of the flashing neon light. I do not know Morse Code; it could be an impersonation!

      Liked by 1 person

      January 1, 2015 at 6:00 PM

      • Well Ms Madly were your manifesting not so potent the light wouldn’t be an issue.

        Like

        January 2, 2015 at 4:36 AM

        • Sister Madly

          It’s a frame up- happens all the time in the movies and books, so you know it must be true.

          Liked by 1 person

          January 2, 2015 at 12:54 PM

        • The explanation sounds suspiciously like a variation on, “infinite monkey theorem” to me.

          BUT, it is on the Internet so it must be gospel too!

          Now where did I leave my bells………

          Like

          January 2, 2015 at 2:02 PM

        • Sister Madly

          Exactly. Framed by a Shakespeare-typing monkey. Kinda like Murders in the Rune Morgue if it had been a Walt Disney Production.

          The monkey also stole your bells.

          Liked by 1 person

          January 2, 2015 at 3:33 PM

        • I can see the Shakespeare typing monkey now with his own poetic licence,

          “Alas poor Bonzo, I knew him well”. Said with a Ronnie Reagn voice!

          “How do I love thee, let me count the nits”

          If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us shall we not fling excrement?

          It might be time for me to talk to Luna, maybe she saw where that “dirty damn ape with the stinking paws” went with my bells!

          Thanks for letting me know who stole them!

          Liked by 1 person

          January 2, 2015 at 3:59 PM

  5. Cnawan Fahey

    Oh when that dead, dead Dodo comes Dum-Dum Dumming along…

    Liked by 1 person

    January 1, 2015 at 4:55 PM

    • Sister Madly

      Are you singing his praises?! Is everyone infected?! MUST EVERYONE WASH THEIR SOCKS AT ONE TIME?!?!

      Like

      January 1, 2015 at 6:04 PM

      • Cnawan Fahey

        Just thought that you might like something to chant while you’re sacrificing Dum Dums or terrorizing the town in his image… It’s kind of catchy, don’t you think? You could hum it to yourself while you’re going about your daily chores, and keep yourself under his thrall, um, I mean in his good graces…

        Like

        January 1, 2015 at 6:30 PM

        • Sister Madly

          What?! You want me to just accept the fact that I have lost to the Dodo? Do you just accept the fact that the sun will rise every morning? Or that spring will follow the winter? Do you just accept the fact that chocolate goes with peanut butter?

          … I need to cultivate a better argument…

          Like

          January 1, 2015 at 6:48 PM

        • Cnawan Fahey

          Faulty logic notwithstanding, you win the argument. We all hope and pray that Sister Madly does not succumb to the forces of darkness (any more than she has already) and indeed ultimately triumphs over the sinister Dodo and puts end to his insidious ways. No doubt Sister Madly is the only thing that stands between us and a plague-filled world. You can sing the tune as you’re hammering the last nails in his coffin…

          Like

          January 1, 2015 at 7:58 PM

        • Sister Madly

          Is the chocolate and Peanut Butter combo considered evil on ANY level from here on out?

          Like

          January 1, 2015 at 9:10 PM

        • Cnawan Fahey

          Never was. Never will be.

          Liked by 1 person

          January 2, 2015 at 10:07 AM

        • Unless it is white chocolate then you want raspberry.

          Liked by 1 person

          January 2, 2015 at 4:46 AM

  6. Love your sense of humour! Happy New Year!

    Like

    January 1, 2015 at 7:12 PM

    • Sister Madly

      Why, thank you!! And a very Happy New Year to you as well!!!

      Like

      January 1, 2015 at 7:28 PM

  7. locksley2010

    Sister Madly! My house mate took a ‘What would your medieval job be?’ test and got hunter. I took the test and got Witch Doctor. The scary thing is the image of the Dodo that came with it! here: https://locksley2010.files.wordpress.com/2015/01/wpid-img_20150102_213040_314.jpg

    Now, I’m perplexed… what should I DO!?

    Like

    January 2, 2015 at 3:05 PM

    • Sister Madly

      Oh, no. Now he’s coming after my WP friends as well!

      Whatever you do, DON’T travel back to the medieval period, because that is obviously the profession you were meant to be- true, it can be hard trying to avoid those time-traveling portals, but do try.

      But if you do, and you happen to see some madwoman coming after you with a mace, try not to take it personally.

      I’ll have to think this one over. In the mean time, I’ll be in your sock drawer, drinking myself silly.

      Liked by 1 person

      January 2, 2015 at 3:48 PM

      • locksley2010

        Roger, wilco understood!

        Liked by 1 person

        January 3, 2015 at 1:11 AM

      • locksley2010

        Ps: help yourself to the emergency Jack Daniels in there! 😉

        Like

        January 3, 2015 at 11:30 AM

        • Sister Madly

          Already did- I mean, thank you!

          Liked by 1 person

          January 3, 2015 at 11:38 AM

        • locksley2010

          Quite right too!

          Liked by 1 person

          January 3, 2015 at 11:40 AM

  8. Heartafire

    Fabulous!

    Like

    January 2, 2015 at 7:39 PM

    • Sister Madly

      Thank you. I enjoyed your work- please keep it up!! ;c)

      Like

      January 2, 2015 at 8:04 PM

      • Heartafire

        O, I must…thank you so much.

        Liked by 1 person

        January 2, 2015 at 8:05 PM

  9. Thanks for a great piece! I salute your imagery! Have a cider… 😀

    Like

    January 3, 2015 at 3:46 AM

    • Sister Madly

      Oh, I will! As long as that magnet is staring at me from my fridge, there will be ciders!

      Liked by 1 person

      January 3, 2015 at 11:32 AM

  10. More than talent i think, so startling and blunt

    Like

    January 13, 2015 at 6:30 AM

    • Sister Madly

      That’s quite a compliment- thank you. I appreciate you stopping by!

      Liked by 1 person

      January 13, 2015 at 12:59 PM

  11. Helluva writer. Truly excellent art. What is the origin?

    Like

    January 13, 2015 at 4:25 PM

    • Sister Madly

      Thank you!

      The photos are my own, but the drawing with the raven was emailed to me by a rather cheeky reader- I assume it was found somewhere on the internet.

      Like

      January 13, 2015 at 8:30 PM

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