Polynesian Pasta Salad ~ Justice for the Fortress
Contrary to popular belief, Sister Madly is not one for revenge- that is, not right away. She is more than willing to wait a month for the full impact of her unholy retribution to be unleashed upon the deserving individual- in this case, her elder sibling, Tallulah.
Many a Madly Moon ago, a wee Sister Madly constructed a Fortress out of Legos- and a mighty fine structure it was, with its turrets and its multiple moat-thingies. Indeed, it was the envy of her 8-year-old contemporaries… until Tallulah’s foot came out of absolutely nowhere and punted the Fortress clear across the room.
Well, son of a biscuit, Tallulah- did you run out of crutches to kick? Must Sister Madly suffer for her art?
To this, Tallulah insisted- in a manner that did not seem heartfelt- that it was an accident.
But any armchair psychologist worth his salt will tell you that there are no accidents.
That means Tallulah kicked her Fortress on purpose. Twice.
Now everybody knows that when it comes to Childhood Justice, ‘on purposes’ cannot go unpunished; thus, Sister Madly implemented the most calculated, the most devastating means of retribution: she planted an acorn outside Tallulah’s window.
For those questioning the logic behind the Acorn, understand that by planting said Acorn, it would grow into a mighty tree that would one day block Tallulah’s view of the beloved* swing set. If one can have faith as small as a mustard seed, then one can sow retribution as small as an Acorn.
* A rusted, toxic heap of metal and sadness though it may be, the swing set was still beloved.
Unfortunately, that ‘one day’ wasn’t happening fast enough for the wee little Moppet; so, to promote the development of the Acorn Tree- thus furthering her masterplan- Sister Madly would routinely spit on the Acorn every time she passed by the window.
Sometimes her genius is frightening!
Several decades have passed since the Punting of the Lego Fortress, and Sister Madly has come to terms with the failed vengeance of the Acorn Tree. Thus, she is here to announce that she has accepted* Tallulah’s less-than-heartfelt apology, and as a testament to her newfound maturity as an adult, she will graciously allow Tallulah to make her cookies.
* For now, that is…
POLYNESIAN PASTA SALAD
- 1lb Pasta
- ¼ cup cider vinegar
- 1 small onion, diced
- Carrots, julienned
- Frozen peas, thawed
- 2 cups mayo
- ¼-½ cup heavy cream, to taste
- 1-2 TBSP Worcestershire, to taste
- ¼ cup crushed pineapple
- Salt/pepper, to taste
Mix together dressing ingredients; refrigerate until needed
Cook pasta; drain and return to pan
Add cider vinegar to pasta; mix well
Cover; rest for 20 minutes
Mix in half the dressing; rest 10-20 minutes
Stir in remaining dressing
Cover; refrigerate for 2-3 hours before serving
Sister Madly is aware that this is not a traditional Hawaiian Macaroni Salad. The aforementioned recipe was made during the pandemic, and her pasta selection was limited to manicotti, lasagna, and some rainbow twisties. As her Sicilian brother-in-law was no help whatsoever,* Sister Madly went with the rainbow twisties.
* Admittedly, he was no help because Sister Madly did not ask his opinion.