Chorizo Corn Chowder ~ “Who Stole My Necronomicon?”

Perhaps it is foolish to assume that one’s house will be fully in tact upon returning from the market, but that is human nature, and we humans are a foolish lot. We are programmed to assume that objects that are fused to the wall tend to stay fused to the wall.

Sister Madly won’t be making that mistake again.

Where’s my sink?

This is only one in a series of recently misplaced objects, from a corkscrew (still missing, but perhaps that is best) to some garlic powder (found in the fridge) to a zebra-print shower cap (found covering the smoke detector.) The other night at the pub, Sister Madly was overheard demanding “Who stole my Necronomicon?” with righteous indignation, causing some alarm and much raising of eyebrows. But this inquiry was not without merit: she had wandered off to partake in a round of darts, only to find the book was missing upon her return. She did not believe herself to be responsible for its misplacement this time around.

Had this not occurred at the pub, the Professors would have likely zeroed in on the phrase this time around; but seeing as they were a few pints into the evening, they zeroed in on Necronomicon. Having just engaged in another Sister Madly Experiment (under the guise of ‘Let’s See What Happens When We Steal Her Book!’) the Professors seemed rather perplexed at the results. You are aware, Sister Madly, that the Necronomicon doesn’t actually exist, right? That there is no such book, and never has been? You are aware of that, aren’t you, Sister Madly?

She wasn’t exactly sure how to answer. Were they trying to tell her that the book she thought she had been reading all night was only in her mind? That she never actually had a book, that she had been staring at the table this entire time? Or were they trying to tell her that the Necronomicon, itself, is fictitious- of which she is completely aware despite having read it a few moments before?

One cannot merely summon the dead, they said, no matter what Hollywood may have led you to believe.* One cannot call for gods that do not exist. Why is it, Sister Madly, that you are ashamed of reading something scholarly? It’s really quite commendable! A textbook, or a manual, a dictionary, even- really, there’s no need for you to be facetious…

* The Professors later agreed amongst themselves that Sister Madly was aware of this fact, and with relief, as summoning the dead would most likely prove to be an activity she would enjoy far too much.

Her immediate response of “Why the hell would I be reading a dictionary?” was not only met with astonishment, but deemed unnecessarily hostile as apparently dictionary-reading is a favorite pastime amongst the Professors. Further inquiries were made regarding her dictionary aversion, which Sister Madly denied, insisting that mixing pints with dictionaries is as dangerous as mixing pints with darts. She then invited the Professors to a round of cricket to show them just how, exactly, pints affect her game.

They declined.

(Sister Madly will not be informing the Professors that she lost her sink. She probably won’t be telling her friends, either. Or her neighbors. Or the landlord. In fact, just forget it ever happened.)

UPDATE: The sink was later located in the bathtub.

CHORIZO CORN CHOWDER

• 1 red bell pepper, seeded and diced
• 1 medium onion, diced
• 3-5 cloves of garlic, minced
• 4 cups corn niblets
• 1 lb chorizo, cooked and crumbled
• 2 carrots, chopped
• 2 celery, sliced
• baby potatoes, cubed
• 8 oz mushrooms
• 3/4 tsp cumin
• 4 cups chicken stock, divided (2 + 2)
• 1 tbsp lime juice
• Salt/pepper to taste
• Heavy cream to taste (about 3/4 cup – 1 cup)

In a stock pot, sauté onion & garlic in drippings or butter until translucent
Add bell pepper and corn, sauté for additional 5 minutes
Add cumin; sauté 30 sec
Mix in 2 cups chicken stock and remove from heat
Puree mixture w/immersion blender or food processor until ALMOST smooth
Return soup to stock pot and heat
Add carrots, potatoes, celery, mushrooms, chorizo, and remaining stock
Bring to a boil
Reduce heat and simmer until veggies are tender
Add cream; mix well and bring to a simmer (do not boil)
Mix in lime juice
Adjust seasons; remove from heat and serve

POST’S THEME SONG: Where Have All the Flowers Gone, Anne Lise Gjøstøl