Chorizo Corn Chowder ~ “Who Stole My Necronomicon?”

Perhaps it is foolish to assume that one’s house will be fully in tact upon returning from the market, but that is human nature, and we humans are a foolish lot. We are programmed to assume that objects that are fused to the wall tend to stay fused to the wall.

Missing Sink

Sister Madly won’t be making that mistake again.

Where’s my sink?

This is only one in a series of recently misplaced objects, from a corkscrew (still missing, but perhaps that is best) to some garlic powder (found in the fridge) to a zebra-print shower cap (found covering the smoke detector.) The other night at the pub, Sister Madly was overheard demanding “Who stole my Necronomicon?” with righteous indignation, causing some alarm and much raising of eyebrows. But this inquiry was not without merit: she had wandered off to partake in a round of darts, only to find the book was missing upon her return. She did not believe herself to be responsible for its misplacement this time around.

Had this not occurred at the pub, the Professors would have likely zeroed in on the phrase this time around; but seeing as they were a few pints into the evening, they zeroed in on Necronomicon. Having just engaged in another Sister Madly Experiment (under the guise of ‘Let’s See What Happens When We Steal Her Book!’) the Professors seemed rather perplexed at the results. You are aware, Sister Madly, that the Necronomicon doesn’t actually exist, right? That there is no such book, and never has been? You are aware of that, aren’t you, Sister Madly?

She wasn’t exactly sure how to answer. Were they trying to tell her that the book she thought she had been reading all night was only in her mind? That she never actually had a book, that she had been staring at the table this entire time? Or were they trying to tell her that the Necronomicon, itself, is fictitious- of which she is completely aware despite having read it a few moments before?

014

One cannot merely summon the dead, they said, no matter what Hollywood may have led you to believe.One cannot call for gods that do not exist. Why is it, Sister Madly, that you are ashamed of reading something scholarly? It’s really quite commendable! A textbook, or a manual, a dictionary, even- really, there’s no need for you to be facetious…

* The Professors later agreed amongst themselves that Sister Madly was aware of this fact, and with relief, as summoning the dead would most likely prove to be an activity she would enjoy far too much.

Her immediate response of “Why the hell would I be reading a dictionary?” was not only met with astonishment, but deemed unnecessarily hostile as apparently dictionary-reading is a favorite pastime amongst the Professors. Further inquiries were made regarding her dictionary aversion, which Sister Madly denied, insisting that mixing pints with dictionaries is as dangerous as mixing pints with darts. She then invited the Professors to a round of cricket to show them just how, exactly, pints affect her game.

They declined.

(Sister Madly will not be informing the Professors that she lost her sink. She probably won’t be telling her friends, either. Or her neighbors. Or the landlord. In fact, just forget it ever happened.)

UPDATE: The sink was later located in the bathtub.

chorizo CC2

CHORIZO CORN CHOWDER

  • 1 red bell pepper, seeded and diced
  • 1 medium onion, diced
  • 3-5 cloves of garlic, minced
  • 4 cups corn niblets, thawed if frozen
  • 1 lb chorizo, cooked and crumbled
  • 2 carrots, chopped
  • 8 oz mushrooms
  • 3/4 tsp cumin
  • 4 cups chicken stock, divided (2 + 2)
  • 1 tbsp lime juice
  • Salt and pepper to taste
  • Heavy cream to taste (about 3/4 cup – 1 cup)

In a stock pot, sauté onion & garlic in drippings or butter until translucent
Add bell pepper and corn, sauté for additional 5 minutes
Mix in 2 cups chicken stock and remove from heat
Puree mixture w/immersion blender or food processor until ALMOST smooth
Return soup to stock pot and heat
Add carrots, mushrooms, chorizo, cumin and remaining stock
Bring to a boil
Reduce heat and simmer until veggies are tender
Mix in lime juice, heat to set flavors (2-3 minutes)
Add cream, salt and pepper, mix well
Remove from heat and serve

POST’S THEME SONG: Where Have All the Flowers GoneAnne Lise Gjøstøl

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22 responses

  1. I feel sister madley’s pain. Sometimes I think elves follow me around and hide things from me. While I’ve never lost a sink, I’ve been baffled by how pens seem to flee my presence, checkbooks, whole pairs of trousers, one shoe, packages of cigarettes, every pair of gloves I’ve ever owned, half of every pair of earrings I’ve ever owned have vanished, never to be found again. I don’t have a great sense of object permanence as a result. Also the soup looks delightful, and perfect to fend off spring chills!

    Like

    April 9, 2014 at 10:15 AM

    • Sister Madly

      Where do these things go? Sometimes they are never seen again- but if they are one day found, I can almost swear that it wasn’t me who put it there!

      Like

      April 9, 2014 at 11:05 AM

  2. That chowder is by far my favorite recipe yet. Two thirds of my problems in life have been caused by a fondness for sausage and heavy cream.

    As to raising the dead, I’m more interested in getting them out of here. There seems to be a number of people walking around with their wheels spinning, but the hamster left the cage long ago.

    As to reading imaginary books, I hate that. Many times I have demanded to know where my books is and people always say, “what book? You weren’t reading a book.” What is with that instant denial and suspicious interrogation? Of course I was reading a book! I didn’t imagine half a story and stop point blank. Besides, if I really were reading imaginary books, wouldn’t it would be wise to just humor me?

    Like

    April 9, 2014 at 10:28 AM

    • Sister Madly

      If we were, in fact, reading imaginary books, that means these stories are something that we came up with ourselves, and could become best-selling authors tomorrow! Unfortunately, without these imaginary books, we don’t know how to finish the story, so there goes that plan.

      And while two thirds of our problems may be caused by sausage and heavy cream, the other third is solve by it!

      Like

      April 9, 2014 at 11:10 AM

  3. Possible reactions to this post: GAHHHHHHHHH! *gasp* Mmmmmmm.

    Like

    April 9, 2014 at 4:52 PM

    • Sister Madly

      Your eloquence is second to none- not to mention a verbatim account of the evening.

      Like

      April 9, 2014 at 5:10 PM

      • Thanks. I carry extra jackets just so I can throw them over puddles.

        Like

        April 9, 2014 at 5:13 PM

        • Sister Madly

          Then may the season be dry so that you may save on your dry cleaning bill.

          Like

          April 9, 2014 at 5:24 PM

        • That is so thoughtful!

          Like

          April 9, 2014 at 5:30 PM

  4. I am really hoping my entire basement will vanish….leaving everything else just right

    Like

    April 12, 2014 at 6:32 PM

    • Sister Madly

      Oh, how I wished things worked out that way!

      Like

      April 12, 2014 at 6:48 PM

  5. Exactly! But I think the reason it doesn’t work out that way…the old ones don’t like that. Which reminds me of a very strange event I had in college…oh so long ago. Back when the libraries still had actual paper card catalogs. I thought it would be funny to look up the Necronomicon. Strangely, there was a card entry for it in the rare book section of the library, which meant it could only be seen by appointment. I thought that I would have to schedule an appointment. The normal ebb and flow of college got in the way and I forgot about the book. When I remembered I went back the catalog to look it up again…and it was gone.

    Like

    April 12, 2014 at 7:10 PM

    • Sister Madly

      Talk about a Lovecraft tale in the making! Makes me wonder which Old One you would have encountered had you investigated the Book’s disappearance…

      (Good ol’ Dewey Decimal System)

      Like

      April 12, 2014 at 7:55 PM

  6. pssssssssst Necron 99 took it

    Like

    September 22, 2014 at 4:34 PM

    • Sister Madly

      Interesting theory, although I feel that I would have noticed if he was in the pub that day… but I’ve been wrong on occasion.

      Like

      September 22, 2014 at 5:10 PM

  7. defrost if frozen 😀

    Like

    November 2, 2014 at 10:49 PM

    • Sister Madly

      Indeed- although, my portions never make it to the freezer in the first place!

      Liked by 1 person

      November 2, 2014 at 11:17 PM

      • I once watched a stage crew manager giving instructions to some theatre students on how to mop. “Hold the mop by the long wooden end. Place the floppy end in the bucket..”

        I sometimes forget how basic basic instructions have to be, especially to an unknown or novice audience. 🙂

        Like

        November 2, 2014 at 11:43 PM

        • Sister Madly

          I’d like to think I’d know how to use a mop, but there are days… sometimes, our minds are just elsewhere.

          I’ve been on both ends of such instructions, giving and receiving. The receiving part is certainly much more humbling.

          Liked by 1 person

          November 2, 2014 at 11:56 PM

        • The defrost instructions reminded me 🙂

          Like

          November 3, 2014 at 2:39 AM

  8. Now I am hungry 🙂

    Like

    November 2, 2014 at 10:54 PM

    • Sister Madly

      Ditto. Unfortunately, the market is closed at the moment… c’est la vie.

      Liked by 1 person

      November 2, 2014 at 11:18 PM

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