Saffron Chicken Tagine ~ Rock Me, Nostradamus

The best $2 Sister Madly ever spent was to see the Dodo Riverdance.

Understandably, this did not endear Sister Madly to the Dodo in the least.

It all began after the Pub Sing-Along, when it became apparent that the crowd knew something that Sister Madly did not. She didn’t like the way they were laughing; it was not the laughter bestowed upon one found utterly adorable, but the laughter at one’s expense. Sister Madly is finely tuned to the subtle difference.

The obvious place to look was behind her; in the movies, that is when things go wrong. But this one came without her looking: a glass of ice water to the back, followed by a Mystery Flavor Dum Dum. To Sister Madly, the Mystery Flavor Dum Dum is the highest of insults.

Actually, the Dodo didn’t throw the Dum Dum at her; he handed it over. She took this to mean that the Dodo’s was symbolically calling her names. She couldn’t bring herself to forgive this anymore than could she forgive the ice water: though refreshing once the initial shock had passed, it wasn’t worth being rendered incapacitated in a hunchback position while waiting to thaw.

Yet it was during this deep freeze that Sister Madly settled on her retaliation: to have the Dodo arrested. Sure, it seemed severe, but she saw no reason why she couldn’t get away with it. Besides, it only cost $2*, which was comparable to the amount of Dum Dums thrown at her over the course of their acquaintance.

* $2.68 when adjusted for inflation.

The prison system was simple: a warrant was issued, the offender apprehended and, after a lengthy trek around the Faire for the sole purpose of being taunted, hauled off to jail. Here, his options were to either pay a fine (which rarely, if ever, happened) or serve his sentence, which included some sort of humiliation such as singing I’m a Little Teapot.

Which was exactly the sentence Sister Madly was hoping for.

Since the charge of ‘Dum Dum Throwing’ brought a snicker from the crazy-haired warrant issuer (jerk) she settled on assault and battery. To this day, Sister Madly has no idea how she missed the arrest; tagging along on the taunting trek is part of the tradition- not to mention, part of the pleasure- for the accuser, but this all happened without her. All she knows is that a short time later, the Dodo was greeting her with that time-honored gesture of disapproval from inside the jail.

Well… at least he knew who was responsible.

Having missed the taunting trek, Sister Madly decided to get her insults in while she had the time. She was pleased at how well this went- that is, until she was confronted by the Dodo’s entire entourage. They wanted to know if the word retribution meant anything to her.

Which, of course, it did: it was the reason she had the Dodo arrested.

“Would you have Nostradamus arrested?”

If he threw Dum Dums at her, she would.

And Sister Madly should have just left it at that; but no. She had to start thinking. What did Nostradamus have to do with this? There had to be a reason these weirdos were bringing him up. And as she wondered, Sister Madly fell victim to a case of 3 AM Rationale -as it was 3 AM somewhere in the world- which began its rapid deterioration into madness.

What if he is Nostradamus? Not that this gives him liberty to throw Dum Dums at people… but that’s going to be his defense, isn’t it? He’s going to claim to be Nostradamus, and somehow it’s going to get him out of jail without singing I’m a Little Teapot. He’s either going to be released on his own recognizance, or by entering an insanity plea because this would prove that Skeksis is schizo- in which case he would end up in the Asylum, which wouldn’t be problem except that the Dodo ran the Asylum.

This was unacceptable. Sister Madly paid $2 for the privilege of the Dodo’s public humiliation- he was not going to get out of it that easily. Not that there was a thing she could do about it, aside from halting her internal dialogue which was manifesting itself through various gestures and facial expressions. People were beginning to stare.

It was the sheriff who snapped her out of this downward spiral with that phrase that made it all worthwhile:

“… hereby sentence you to Riverdance.”

His dance was not unlike this gentleman’s… 

Yes, there was nothing more satisfying than watching the Dodo’s performance, aside from knowing that she was solely responsible for his humiliation. It’s true, what they say: revenge is sweet.

Rock me, Nostradamus.

SAFFRON CHICKEN TAGINE

• 6 boneless chicken thighs, cubed
• 2-3 carrots, chopped
• 1 cup peas
• 8 oz. mushrooms, sliced (opt)
• 2 large sweet onions, chopped
• 5 garlic cloves, minced
• 1/2 – 1 cup chicken broth (or as needed)
• 1 tbsp ground ginger
• 1 1/2 tsp black pepper
• 2 sticks cinnamon
• 1 tsp saffron threads, crumbled
• 1 tsp turmeric
• 1/2 tsp coriander
• 1 tsp salt, or to taste
• butter/oil, for sauteing

In Dutch Oven/stockpot, saute onions and garlic in butter/oil; 5-10 min
Mix in spices and heat for 30-60 secs
Add carrots, mushrooms, and chicken; stir to coat
Add broth and bring to a boil
Reduce to a simmer; cover, and cook for 30 min, stirring occasionally
Uncover and add peas
Continue to simmer, uncovered, to reduce
Remove cinnamon sticks and serve

POST’S THEME SONG: Rock Me Amadeus, Falco