Hungarian Mushroom Soup ~ EEE-O-11, Sister Madly

Upon finding themselves in need of a holiday, the Professors, after much debate, decided that Sister Madly should accompany them on their night of grand debauchery- for entertainment purposes only.

But she was to leave the onion-chopping eyewear at home.

It took place at a casino near the coast, as gambling is a favorite pastime among the Professors, second only to exposing Sister Madly to peculiar situations just to see what will happen to her.

But this wasn’t Sister Madly’s first casino. She once encountered an all Black Jack joint in the back of a fusion restaurant, whose unconventional- if not inconvenient- access made it seem delightfully illicit; it would’ve been glamorous had she not had to shuffle through a greasy kitchen first.

The Professors, under the impression that this was Sister Madly’s maiden voyage, had little interest in financing the expedition and even less intention in feeding her. Her own common sense (aka, lack of funds) would not permit her to partake in the festivities, and though she had no problem freely spending the Professors’ cash, her mandatory fee of 30% of all profits was not well-received.

They eventually permitted Sister Madly to explore the casino at her leisure, often sending her out on a mission to find this-or-that themed slot machine. These missions soon became tedious as she found herself trailing behind people not large enough to crowd the aisle, yet who walked in such a fashion that they were impossible to get around. She was sidetracked by the Roulette Wheel, then subsequently disappointed when she found that neither it nor the Craps Table were surrounded by the host of tuxedo-wearing, cigarette-smoking crooners that the glam years of Hollywood once promised.

Her idle wanderings landed her in the sports bar, which was broadcasting the grand ol’ sport of Karaoke at the time. Sister Madly does not Karaoke- you are welcome– but she has nothing against those who do so long as her skin doesn’t crawl. To ensure this, she ordered herself a cocktail.

Now, Sister Madly’s idea of a margarita is a delightful combination of tequila, triple sec, and lime. This, apparently, is in error; the cocktail that the expert mixologist created consisted of a 16 oz. salt-rimmed glass of straight tequila, whose only encounter with a lime was the few moments they spent together in the shopping bag.

Was it any surprise that the singing got better throughout the night, Sister Madly? No, it was no Sinatra or Dean Martin, but beggars can’t be choosers- in fact, it’s a wonder that you, Sister Madly, yourself, did not end up lounging across the grand piano, serenading the crowd a la Dietrich.

“Falling in love again…”

Actually, the evening turned out to be quite educational: Sister Madly learned more than she ever cared to know about gout from a wallowing lush, enjoyed a free round of nachos, prepared the reason behind her lengthy absence from the Professor’s custody (‘an hour at the gym, followed by a contemplative walk around the grounds’) and exchanged card tricks with a gentleman in cheerful suspenders. As Sister Madly was alone, Cheerful Suspenders assumed that she was down on her luck and decided to lift her spirits by dedicating his next song to her.

Dedicate he did, and with a voice that could summon forth the Deep Ones, the gentleman belted out, in her honor, The Ballad of the Green Berets.*

* Song had been selected before either party had encountered the other, which is probably for the best.

Sister Madly, upon realizing that the Deep Ones
 had been summoned- on her behalf- to the tune of
The Ballad of the Green Berets.

Although she had carefully rehearsed the story of her absence, Sister Madly, now a pint of tequila into the evening, only offered this explanation to the Professors regarding her whereabouts:

“Nachos.”

HUNGARIAN MUSHROOM SOUP

• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 3-5 garlic cloves, chopped
• 1.5 -2 lbs. fresh mushrooms, sliced
• 2/3 cup dry white wine
• 2 tsp dried dill weed
• 1 tbsp paprika (Hungarian if possible)
• 1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
• 1/4 tsp tumeric
• 1/4 tsp chipotle -OR- black pepper
• 1/4 tsp basil
• Salt to taste
• 2 cup chicken or veggie broth
• 1 cup heavy cream
• 2 tsp lemon juice
• 1/2 cup sour cream

Sauté onions and garlic in butter for 5 minutes
Add the mushrooms and sauté for 5 more minutes
Add wine, salt, spices, Worcestershire and broth
Reduce heat to low and simmer for 15 minutes
Add cream and simmer for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally- DO NOT BOIL
Add lemon juice and sour cream, mix until smooth
Simmer 3 to 5 minutes- DO NOT BOIL
Remove from heat and serve

POST’S THEME SONG: The Ballad of the Green Berets, Cheerful Suspenders Guy