Sympathy for the Devil

Last year, Sister Madly spent Halloween with Tallulah and (the now) Mr. Tallulah watching Disney propaganda films, the highlight of these being Der Fuehrer’s Face: a peculiar little picture chock-full of Nazi ridicule and an unfortunately catchy tune- so catchy, in fact, that Sister Madly had to forcibly stop herself from singing it in public.*

*When trying to explain to your future brother-in-law Donald’s perils of having to salute every picture of Hitler he comes across, please exercise a certain amount of decorum and not act this out inside a brightly lit house in front of an open window. Don’t ask Sister Madly how she knows this.

This year, the Professors have decided that not only should Sister Madly accompany their group to the party of a colleague, but that they should all attend said soiree dressed in a similar fashion- in this case, Día de los Muertos.

dotd

This, for your FYI, was decided without the consent of Sister Madly, as these things usually are. Six weeks worth of protests have been met with the usual disregard as plans were made in her absence, which included elaborate costuming and makeup, with the finishing details to be outlined in temporary tattoo.

Sister Madly sees no way in which this last one could possibly go wrong.

While never having made herself up in this grotesquely festive nature, Sister Madly is well aware of the drawbacks of unfamiliar cosmetic mediums, which stems from an incident that occurred well over 5 years ago.

It happened when Sister Madly was 6 years-old, when she was still under the blissful delusion that there was no way in heaven and earth that she could possibly make a mistake. Her friend, Serafina, had invited her to a church party thrown as a ‘safe alternative’ to the usual Halloween festivities, which Sister Madly didn’t quite understand but decided to overlook as there was still the promise of candy. But with this promise came the gentle reminder that since the party was to be held at a church- and a strict, unfun denomination at that- their costumes had to be biblical in nature.

It wasn’t long before Serafina was announcing that she would be dressing up as an angel, which was not surprising. Serafina always had a fondness for silver linings and all things pink and fluffy, offsetting Sister Madly’s healthy skepticism of the bright side of things. While in many ways they were complete opposites, somehow it worked for them (i.e., Serafina ate all the black jelly beans, and Sister Madly… well, gave them to her.)

So Serafina was going to be a pink, fluffy angel.

And Sister Madly?  She settled on the Devil. The Devil is biblical.

devilBut what, exactly, does the Devil look like? This was not something one covered in Sunday School, it turned out, as Serafina balked at the question. What they did know of the Devil was gleaned from the usual media outlets: red, naturally, as most depictions agree on this, with horns, a tail, maybe some fangs, and occasionally brandishing a pitchfork.

While a 6 year-old’s standards aren’t very high, Sister Madly was disappointed at what was guaranteed to be her lack of authenticity. She would have to forgo any and all genetic mutations, and as for that pitchfork thing- that was just out of the question. No; if Sister Madly wanted to be the Devil, she would have to make do by simply being red.

Unlike the other features, being red was something she could achieve. One Christmas not too long before, she received an inkpad and a stamp of her name surrounded by hearts (there was a time her parents thought it was a good idea for Sister Madly to possess such an instrument of destruction.) There had been some rules laid out at the onset, such as no stamping the walls or the carpet or the dog, but nowhere in these unwritten bylaws was the stipulation that Sister Madly could not stamp her own person if she so desired (nor, incidentally, the inside of the closet door… or the nightstand drawer… or the underside of her desk… or the swing set.) Not that Sister Madly always did what she was told, but she rather liked the stamp at that time and didn’t want it to be taken from her.

And so Sister Madly made herself red by stamping her name all over her face.

And arms.

And hands.

But mostly her face.

In the end, it was all in vain; Sister Madly never went to this Safe Alternative Halloween Party, and by all accounts doesn’t remember being all that upset about it. And while Sister Madly wandered around with the subtle imprint of her name all over her face for days after, no one ever thought to ask what impulse brought about this latest act of personal vandalism. It was merely chalked up as one of those things a young Sister Madly thought was a good idea at the time.


Sister Madly would like to take a moment to address those cheeky individuals who seem to get their jollies in sending her pictures of the Dodo: while she may not know where any of you live -yet- she has your email addresses. That is your own fault.

Do remember that.

POST’S THEME SONG: Red Right Hand, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

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37 responses

  1. But Sister, what happened to ‘Día de los Muertos’? Smiles…>KB

    Like

    October 30, 2014 at 6:50 AM

    • Sister Madly

      That’s the plan for this Halloween, of which I have yet to decide whether or not I’m participating.

      Like

      October 30, 2014 at 2:46 PM

  2. Cnawan Fahey

    This back story is so valuable for Sister Madly’s psychological profile that I’m assembling…please tell me more….

    Like

    October 30, 2014 at 7:55 AM

    • Sister Madly

      Don’t you think that pulling the wings off a housefly would be a better way to spend your free time?

      Like

      October 30, 2014 at 3:56 PM

      • Cnawan Fahey

        Fascinating. Disturbing, but fascinating…You’ve just added a couple of pages of analysis to your profile….Tell me more – do you indulge in this dark, dismemberment humor only around Halloween, or is this a consistent feature?

        Like

        October 30, 2014 at 7:26 PM

        • Sister Madly

          This was a most practical suggestion. A big, dumb housefly without wings is much easier to kill than one that seeks pleasure in buzzing about your head just out of reach. Seriously, if you pulled the wings off them all, slaughtering them would be so much less destructive as there would be no need to punch a hole in the drywall.

          Like

          October 30, 2014 at 7:48 PM

        • Cnawan Fahey

          I hearing you say that your annoyance with obtuse individuals that take delight in pestering your mind with confusing questions often leads to the desire to lash out physically….am I reading you accurately?

          Like

          October 30, 2014 at 8:09 PM

        • Sister Madly

          Complete and utter nonsense… at least somewhat… I plead the Fifth. So there.

          And on a completely unrelated note, I could use some Spackle…

          Liked by 1 person

          October 30, 2014 at 8:23 PM

        • Cnawan Fahey

          Primary response: Engages in denial and then becomes disinclined to talk when confronted with the truth. Secondary response: uses innuendo to both allude to admission and insinuate a threat….all while maintaining a calm demeanor… Behaviors consistent with psychopathic profile…

          Like

          October 30, 2014 at 8:45 PM

        • Sister Madly

          I LIKE BUTTERFLIES!!! AND FIREFLIES!!! I AM A HAPPY PERSON!!!

          (and I still could use that Spackle…)

          Liked by 1 person

          October 30, 2014 at 8:57 PM

        • Cnawan Fahey

          I stand corrected, my adorable Sister. Just send me your address and I’ll be over at 2:20 am for the Spackling.

          Liked by 1 person

          October 30, 2014 at 11:58 PM

  3. Sympathy for the Sister. Do let us know how it goes/went.

    Like

    October 30, 2014 at 8:50 AM

    • Sister Madly

      Will do. I have 24 hours to come up with an alternative plan, such as moving to a distant planet. Or something.

      Liked by 1 person

      October 30, 2014 at 3:52 PM

  4. I find it oddly comforting that Sister Madly has herein referred to her “parents.”

    Like

    October 30, 2014 at 10:50 AM

    • Sister Madly

      My siblings are constantly telling me that I was found in a cabbage patch. I find no evidence of this.

      Then again, it could account for my distaste of leafy things and why eating them conjures up a vague thought of cannibalism.

      Liked by 1 person

      October 30, 2014 at 3:55 PM

      • Contrary to popular wisdom, some things really are better left unknown. I respect Sister Madly’s judgment in this matter, however there are not nearly enough good cannibalism posts on the interwebs.

        Liked by 1 person

        October 30, 2014 at 5:28 PM

        • Sister Madly

          That’s true. Cannibalism is sadly under represented in this day and age. Perhaps we should take a moment to appreciate this ancient practice.

          Liked by 1 person

          October 30, 2014 at 6:17 PM

  5. John Thursday

    Love the theme song 🙂

    Like

    October 30, 2014 at 11:04 AM

    • Sister Madly

      One of my favorites!

      Liked by 1 person

      October 30, 2014 at 3:49 PM

  6. Have to say, having your name stamped across your body repeatedly is a pretty neat creepy do-it-yourself bit of costuming. If I ever went to a party with people who had any idea who I was I might try it sometime.

    Like

    October 30, 2014 at 3:01 PM

    • Sister Madly

      Yes, that would be creepy- really creepy, actually. Maybe add a UPC label or a bio-hazard symbol for greater complexity.

      Either way, beware of your ink choices…

      Like

      October 30, 2014 at 4:03 PM

  7. The effervescent mind is wonderful thing to behold. Or is that ever ‘fessing? Could be the remnants of that “un-fun denominational” scare as a child.

    The Devil in, “The Season Of The Witch”? What were you thinking Sister Madly?

    Blissful delusion? Are you too visiting a tea shop in Negril? Feeding your head so to speak?

    One vitally important thing stands out to someone who has attended a couple Day Of The Dead rituals and is also a hungry hungry sort. Will the cuisine be Sonoran? Can you arrange delivery? Chile Relleno. Tacos al Pastor. Burritos, the corn husk wrapped ones not those banana leaf wrapped ones! Soft Tortillas as a delivery mechanism for the green sauce and the Pico De Gallo please and thank you!

    Don’t make me send a spirit after you!

    Like

    October 31, 2014 at 11:44 AM

    • Sister Madly

      If only it were a Day of the Dead celebration- but it’s a Halloween one with a lot a people I either don’t know or couldn’t care less about. And a group of irritating friends who are calling me at this very moment, wondering where I am.
      I hope the security door holds out.

      And I enjoy blissful delusions. And hard cider. I’ll be enjoying that all night.

      Liked by 1 person

      October 31, 2014 at 5:30 PM

      • Gotta watch what my fingers say more closely. Multitasking, I blame multitasking! Tamales not Burritos! Tamales corn husk wrapped.

        Blissful Delusions, I can work with that and will.

        Liked by 1 person

        November 1, 2014 at 4:40 PM

  8. PS …. there is a current Spackle shortage … it is all in use being applied to plumbers butt cracks

    Like

    October 31, 2014 at 11:51 AM

    • Sister Madly

      Then I guess I’ll just hang a picture over that hole in the wall.

      Like

      October 31, 2014 at 5:31 PM

      • Don’t cover up that hole on my account.

        Like

        November 5, 2014 at 6:20 AM

  9. Here’ s little ditty to make your mind off the security door.
    I was working in the lab, late one night
    When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
    For my monster from his slab, began to rise
    And suddenly to my surprise

    He did the mash, he did the monster mash
    The monster mash, it was a graveyard smash
    He did the mash, it caught on in a flash
    He did the mash, he did the monster mash

    From my laboratory in the castle east
    To the master bedroom where the vampires feast
    The ghouls all came from their humble abodes
    To get a jolt from my electrodes

    They did the mash, they did the monster mash
    The monster mash, it was a graveyard smash
    They did the mash, it caught on in a flash
    They did the mash, they did the monster mash

    The zombies were having fun
    The party had just begun
    The guests included Wolfman,
    Dracula, and his son

    The scene was rockin’, all were digging the sounds
    Igor on chains, backed by his baying hounds
    The coffin-bangers were about to arrive
    With their vocal group, ‘The Crypt-Kicker Five’

    They played the mash, they played the monster mash
    The monster mash, it was a graveyard smash
    They played the mash, it caught on in a flash
    They played the mash, they played the monster mash

    Out from his coffin, Drac’s voice did ring
    Seems he was troubled by just one thing
    Opened the lid and shook his fist and said
    “Whatever happened to my Transylvania Twist? ”

    It’s now the mash, it’s now the monster mash
    The monster mash, it was graveyard smash
    It’s now the mash, it caught on in a flash
    It’s now the mash, it’s now the monster mash

    Now everything’s cool, Drac’s a part of the band
    And my Monster Mash is the hit of the land
    For you, the living, this mash was meant too
    When you get to my door, tell them Boris sent you

    Then you can mash, then you can monster mash
    The monster mash, and do my graveyard smash
    Then you can mash, you’ll catch on in a flash
    Then you can mash, then you can monster mash

    Like

    November 1, 2014 at 12:50 PM

    • Sister Madly

      😀 Yes, that did, indeed, take my mind off the security door!

      Like

      November 1, 2014 at 3:25 PM

  10. Hilarious 🙂

    Like

    November 2, 2014 at 8:25 AM

    • Sister Madly

      Thank you! I’d like to think I’ve wised up since then, but I doubt it. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      November 2, 2014 at 10:15 AM

  11. Ha! That was a good story. I once had a child that somehow acquired a red bingo stamp. Naturally she was covered in red spots so I assumed small pox, the bubonic plague, some dreaded disease. Apparently she had an allergy to the ink, so when I washed it off she was still left with a pox in the spot. We spent about a week horrifying people in the grocery store with this obviously spotted and contagious child. When ever someone would ask her if she was feeling okay she’d just say, “bingo,” as if that explained everything which it did.

    Like

    November 2, 2014 at 5:59 PM

    • Sister Madly

      Must be a natural instinct for a kid to stamp themselves (‘Bingo- love it!:D ) Unfortunately, I couldn’t claim bubonic plague as any skin reaction would have been in the shape of my name. Dead giveaway.

      Liked by 1 person

      November 2, 2014 at 8:16 PM

  12. Amusing sister~

    Like

    November 3, 2014 at 8:14 AM

  13. wwwpalfitness

    Reblogged this on wwwpalfitness.

    Like

    January 7, 2016 at 3:05 PM

  14. johnlmalone

    an entertaining and wildly eccentric post; thanks for drawing my attention to it

    Liked by 1 person

    September 26, 2017 at 3:02 PM

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