A cautionary tale for Valentine’s…
We’d like to tell you a story
About a young girl,
About eighteen years old, about five feet two,
And about to go out.
Now, her Mother,
Realizing it was her first time
Out with a young man,
Called her into the bedroom and said,
And now, Minnie,
I want you to remember everything
I’ve always told you,
And above all
I want you to be very, very careful…
They searched the place from penthouse to the cellar
In every room and underneath each bed.
Once they thought they saw it lying on a pillow
But they found it belonged to someone else instead.
They questioned all the bellboys and the porter
The chef appeared to be the guilty guy
And the doorman also acted quite suspicious
But he coyly said, “I’m sure it wasn’t I!”
They just about completed all their searching
When the chauffeur walked up with it in his hand
All they did was stand and gape,
There was Minnie’s sable cape-
And she thought that she had lost it at the Astor.
… always remember your sable cape, ladies, lest you displease Mama.
5) Cecil Beaton
The Creatures of the Night are abroad,
And over there in a ruined Churchyard, in a ruined Church Steeple~
The cracked Bell is being activated by the Night Breezes
Suddenly, I heard the plaintive cry of a young, Mexican girl…
Performed by: The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain
…and when they had opened their treasures,
they presented unto him gifts of Gold, Frankenstein, and Murder…
The World is Changed
By your Example,
Not by your Opinion.
~ Paulo Coelho
All Images: WeHeartIt
When an Honest Man Discovers
That He is Mistaken
He will either
Cease to be Mistaken,
Or Cease to be Honest.
All Images: Pinterest
A Second Spring
When every Leaf
Is a Flower.
~ Albert Camus
Show Me Slowly
What I only Know the Limits of
And Dance Me
To the End of Love
~ Leonard Cohen
That some People
~ Albert Camus
1) Laurie Simmons
The Artist Produces
For the Liberation of his Soul.
It is his Nature
As it is the Nature of Water
To Run Down the Hill.
~ Somerset Maugham
Filipino Solar Artist, Jordan Mang-osan, harnesses the power of the sun to create intricate works of art. With a magnifying glass, he focuses the sun’s rays to burn his visions into slabs of wood.
Art by Jordan Mang-osan.
The Worst of all Deceptions
The Closest One Comes
To Perfect Love
Is Accepting Somone
For Who They Are.
Bower Birds do not rely on plumage; rather, they attract females through elaborately embellished structures (bowers) which are carefully arranged by the males.
2.) Markus Lilje
Nothing makes the Earth
Seem so Spacious
As to have Friends
At a Distance.
~ Henry David Thoreau
Unlikely Friends Images:
3) Lassi Rautiainen
Is More Despicable
Based on Fear.
~ Albert Camus
Is the Only Creature
That Refuses to Be
What He Is.
~ Albert Camus
2.) Marko Popadić
You will never be Happy
If you Continue to Search
For what Happiness Consists of.
You will never Live
If You are Looking for
The Meaning of Life.
~ Albert Camus
2) Patrick Hübscher
May Not Be Consistent
3) tara mckinney
Charm is a Way
of getting a ‘Yes’
a Clear Question.
~ Albert Camus
Images: Mark Osterman
It wasn’t long ago that Sister Madly, after several gastronomical no-no’s which included the Great Ham and Banana Hollandaise Debacle, was indefinitely banned from the culinary process of party-planning. But this did not preclude her from being recruited to run essential errands, such as “picking up a couple of Swedes.”
Why Swedes specifically? Is not Sister Madly’s own Scandinavian heritage, as slight as it may be, enough of a cultural contribution to the party? Is it even possible to tell a Swede from a Norwegian? If she should bring home a Finn, would she be horribly punished?
Then again, just what kind of girl do you think she is? Do you think she routinely struts about in stilettos and a feathered boa down at the local Ikea? Sure, Sister Madly recently required that every single one of you be her Valentine– some of whom even had the audacity to question her technique- but there is a world of difference between demanding your companionship and wooing you with her dubious charm.
Besides, if Sister Madly was any good at wooing, would she resort to demanding?*
* Yes, actually. Sister Madly is lazy.
Naturally, her friends anticipated her childish tirade, and followed up with a clarifying text: Studebakers.
Well, maybe the Swede would be driving one.
Rutabagas are a funny thing. Sister Madly has a hard time believing that the fool who first dug one up said, “Well, Son-of-a-Biscuit! What a delicious-looking thingamabob!” No doubt its history is more complicated, perhaps even stemming back to biblical times. It’s quite possible that something was lost in translating the Torah, that Eve was not tempted with the Forbidden Fruit, but the Forbidden Root.
But let’s face it: it would take an awful lot of sweet-talking on the part of the Snake to get Eve to chow down on a straight-from-the-dirt Rutabaga. Perhaps a verse was omitted from the original text in which God cursed the Forbidden Fruit by upping its carb count and reducing it to a Root, much like how the Walking-Talking Serpent was reduced to a slithering, hiss-happy Danger Noodle.
From a divine viewpoint, a Fruit-to-Root curse would have been absolutely necessary. No doubt the Forbidden Fruit would devastate the future of humanity by being a hit at the Farmer’s Market- why, just think of the incredible smoothies one could concoct, or all the lovely jams. Forbidden Fruit on a lightly-toasted rye would, without a doubt, be a most unholy way to start the weekend.
Being the cheeky little moppet that she is, Sister Madly brought up the subject to a Seminary Student later on at the party, one who got his kicks from taking himself much too seriously. She was curious as to what he had to say about her most excellent Rutabaga Theory.
He did not think it most excellent.
“If you consider the region and the climate of the Garden of Eden at the time, the Forbidden Fruit would have been similar to an Olive.”
And just what is so tempting about an Olive? It’s the only thing on this planet that can further contaminate a perfectly ghastly loaf of bologna! Olives have their place in the culinary world, make no mistake; but to bring about the downfall of all mankind- quite frankly, that tasty little wart just did not have the gumption. There is simply no way that a Serpent could seduce Eve with a beady-eyed little olive.
Unless it was in a martini.
Then again, who can say it wasn’t in a martini? How do we know that the Serpent wasn’t the local mixologist, wooing Eve with a posh cocktail? Savvy barkeeps have been making the same moves for generations- they must have picked it up from somewhere.
Speaking of which- would you like a drink, Soon-To-Be-Reverend No-Fun?
“There’s a reason they’re called spirits: being drunk with liquor is like being possessed by the devil.”
Spoken like a true fart.
5-SPICE APRICOT CHICKEN
- 6-8 chicken drums/thighs
- 3 TBSP soy sauce ~ or ~ coconut aminos
- 2 TBSP sesame oil
- 2 TBSP garlic, minced
- 1 TBSP ginger, grated
- 2 tsp Chinese 5-spice
- 1 tsp Sriracha sauce
- 3-4 TBSP olive oil, or as needed
- 1 cup apricot jam
- 3-4 TBSP soy sauce ~ or ~ coconut aminos
- 3 TBSP rice vinegar
- 2 tsp garlic, minced
- 2 tsp ginger, minced
- 1/2 tsp dry mustard
- 1/4 tsp Sriracha, or to taste
- salt/pepper, to taste
Mix together marinade ingredients
Add chicken; shake/mix to coat
Refrigerate 30min – 24hrs
Mix together glaze ingredients
Bring to a boil
Reduce heat; simmer to reduce (glaze will coat spoon)
Preheat oven to 400*
Place chicken on greased baking rack in tray
Bake for 45 min
Remove from oven, brush chicken with glaze
Return to oven; bake 10-15 min, or until cooked through
Brush with remaining glaze straight from oven
THEME SONG: In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, Iron Butterfly
He was a Bold Man
That first ate an Oyster.
~ Jonathan Swift
Art by Gregory Halili
We are not the Same Persons
This Year as Last,
Nor are those we Love.
It is a Happy Chance if we,
Continue to Love
A Changed Person.
~ W. Somerset Maugham
Images by Bobby Neel Adams