Bourbon Maple Chicken ~ The Power of Cheese

In Sister Madly’s experience, cheeses don’t just pop across the marketplace like champagne corks; so it was something of a surprise when she found herself assaulted by a wedge of Camembert. To find the source of the offending cheese, she had to look no farther than the dreadlocked gent now contemplating the Brie, who gave no explanation other than the Camembert had ‘bad energy.’

Technically speaking, sir, everything has energy, if only potential- Sister Madly learned that much as a wee little thing in Science Class.

But Science doesn’t cover Cheese Energy as far as she knows, except with respect to other objects or situations.

Take gravitational cheese energy, for example: Sister Madly can stuff you full of Brie and throw you off the roof; for electrical, that outlet by the sushi bar appears to be rather volatile.* However, if it’s thermal cheese energy you seek, Sister Madly will be more than happy to set the Brie on fire.

Sister Madly is all about helping her fellow man.

* A conclusion drawn by the presence of several bewildered electricians and lots of pretty sparks.

But the Dreadlocked Gent did not want the help of his fellow man, choosing rather to determine the energy himself by meditating with every Cheese- and she does mean every. He immediately bonded with a cheeky little Manchego from the discount basket, but did not jive with the Asiago nor the Double Gloucester with Chives; Sister Madly avoided those projectiles successfully.

Perhaps Cheese has properties she never realized, much like how the cancerous side-effects of radiation were of no surprise, but the subsequent arrival of Godzilla & Company was somewhat unexpected. Maybe Bad Cheese Energy has its own side-effects: it could be the reason why Sister Madly has 2 different-sized feet, or why her hair gets hair-band big after the rain, or why she is perpetually the 5th wheel amongst her friends.* Bad Cheese Energy may have been responsible for the fall of the Roman Empire, or the extinction of the dinosaurs; it could be the reason behind corruption in politics.

* Although that 5th wheel thing might have everything to do with Sister Madly being a proper lunatic.

But upon thinking about it, Sister Madly realized that she has experienced the Power of Cheese: once, a Provolone attempted to enslave her in the kitchen, while not too long ago she dabbled with Stilton, which is said to induce dreams. Sister Madly did dream that night, but it was nothing like the acid trip of pure imagination that was promised. Then again, perhaps Stilton is the LSD of cheeses, and the dreams will manifest as a series of magnificent flashbacks in years to come.

In fact, there’s one now…

Booyah!”

This most sophisticated salutation was accompanied by an insane proposition by the Happy Phlebotomist, who was in the field militantly actively recruiting for the local Blood Drive- at least, he was militantly actively recruiting Sister Madly.*

* Sister Madly isn’t sure ‘Booyah!’ is the best way to recruit souls for a blood-draining ritual… but then, she isn’t a professional.

Since the Phlebotomy Community of America has yet to figure out a needle-free way to extract blood (osmosis, for example- that’s a very science-y thing) Sister Madly was unable to accept his most intriguing proposition (apparently, the draining ritual comes with a free cookie!) but she was just fresh out of blood. It’s one of the more unfortunate side-effects of being a Moppet.

“But you’re all about helping your fellow man.”

Just when did she say that?

“About 10 minutes ago.”

… she was rather hoping you didn’t hear that…

BOURBON MAPLE CHICKEN

  • 6-8 chicken drums/thighs

MARINADE

  • 1 TBSP cumin
  • 1 TBSP coriander
  • 2 tsp chipotle pepper
  • 2 tsp salt
  • 1 TBSP lime juice
  • 3-4 TBSP olive oil, or as needed

BOURBON GLAZE

  • ½ cup bourbon
  • ½ cup maple syrup
  • 2 TBSP Worcestershire Sauce
  • 1 TBSP tomato paste
  • 1 tsp garlic powder
  • 1/2 tsp smoked paprika
  • 1/4 tsp cayenne, or to taste
  • salt/pepper, to taste
  • 1 tsp lime juice

MARINADE
Mix together marinade ingredients
Add chicken; shake/mix to coat
Refrigerate 30min – 24hrs

GLAZE
Mix together all ingredients except lime juice
Bring to a boil
Reduce heat; simmer to reduce (glaze will coat spoon)
Mix in lime juice and remove from heat

BAKE
Preheat oven to 400*
Place chicken on greased baking rack in tray
Bake for 45 min
Remove from oven, brush chicken with glaze
Return to oven; bake 10-15 min, or until cooked through
Brush with remaining glaze straight from oven

 THEME SONG: Meltdown, AC/DC

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27 responses

  1. Great post….love the recipes! Thank you Sister Madly!

    Liked by 1 person

    May 4, 2018 at 5:36 AM

  2. I’d be intrigued if only one of your feet was a different size.

    Of course you may have a sufficient number of feet to derive a statistical norm, from which only some of your feet diverge…

    After all, 99% of men have more than the average number of feet, so anything is possible.

    Liked by 1 person

    May 4, 2018 at 5:43 AM

    • You’re right- I have several feet, all different sizes. I keep them locked in a trunk down in the cellar.

      Like

      May 4, 2018 at 11:05 AM

  3. Go around or two with Welsh Mature, you’ll know what cheese is about then LOL!!

    Liked by 2 people

    May 4, 2018 at 5:46 AM

    • I have a feeling the cheese would win- after all, it has maturity on its side!

      Liked by 1 person

      May 4, 2018 at 11:01 AM

    • Caws! Of course I like that word. I presume you refer to “Welsh Mature Cheddar”, possibly the Dragon brand. Despite the fact that Cheddar is of course an English cheese by origin, there was always a block of Dragon in the fridge, along side the Pont Gar and Perl Las. I’d love to get a decent Teifi cheese over here. Perfect compliment to the cawl. There you go SM – track down a cawl recipe, for your entertainment and delectation, and see if you can get some Celtic cheese to set it off.

      p.s. take care typing “Welsh mature” into google – I got some ‘unexpected’ results! Better specify ‘cheese’ in the search, just to make sure.

      Liked by 2 people

      May 4, 2018 at 3:01 PM

      • I do thank you for the google tip- I might have been scarred for life! Even if it does contain dragons…

        Cawl- I don’t think I’ve heard of it, but I’m always up to experimenting. I do enjoy recommendations… not always successful with them, but I do enjoy them nonetheless.

        Like

        May 4, 2018 at 3:51 PM

      • I think I’ve just been put in my place. Apologies if any offence was caused. In the spirit of the post I was trying to jest about cheese only.

        Liked by 1 person

        May 4, 2018 at 3:52 PM

        • I am pretty certain there was no offense taken- clearly it was as you said: a jest (and one I enjoyed.) It all seems to be lighthearted banter in return. I don’t believe apologies are necessary, my friend. ;c)

          Liked by 1 person

          May 4, 2018 at 4:07 PM

        • Thank you 🙏

          Liked by 1 person

          May 4, 2018 at 4:09 PM

        • ;c)

          Liked by 1 person

          May 4, 2018 at 4:11 PM

        • Good heavens Boyo, no offence at all. I was inspired by the memory of great cheese. Everybody and his dog makes cheddar cheese now, and the Welsh Mature is some of the finest. The mountains round here are covered with cows and sheep, and frequently snow, but for some reason the people can’t make cheese like the Welsh do. (And they’d be upset if I told them such)
          I appreciated your post and your humour – it’s all good.

          Liked by 2 people

          May 4, 2018 at 4:51 PM

        • Thank you, much appreciated 👍🏻, but lesson learnt also. This is bigger than social media lol.

          Liked by 1 person

          May 4, 2018 at 11:16 PM

  4. Here’s to the power of cheese🤣 and thanks for a fun read as always SM😊

    Liked by 1 person

    May 4, 2018 at 8:19 AM

  5. I too had not heard of Cheese energy and going forward, I am forewarned, thank you.

    I’m reasonably certain there was an incoming onion behind the Stilton. It;s a soup thing and quite good.

    I’m also reasonably certain your blood was just hiding under one of your poms. Autonomic response to Hypoinsertus.

    Bourbon & Maple…. yummy!

    Must have been quite disturbing for there not to be a theme song. Yes, obvious but sometimes, you go with it.

    As always Milady, IDWIC

    Liked by 1 person

    May 4, 2018 at 8:20 AM

    • But it does have a theme song- it’s just not the best. Your recommendation, however, is a suitable alternate -after all, it may have been cheese that gave us Godzilla, not nuclear radiation. We may never know.

      If I’ve recently misplaced my poms, does that mean I’ve misplaced my blood?

      Liked by 1 person

      May 4, 2018 at 11:21 AM

      • If you look in the mirror and you aren’t there, yes you’ve misplaced your blood.

        I could see where slicing the Saporito could put a few noses out of joint.

        Liked by 1 person

        May 4, 2018 at 12:11 PM

        • To be fair, there’s been times where I haven’t seen myself in a mirror… true, the room was a wee bit dark…

          Liked by 1 person

          May 4, 2018 at 12:26 PM

        • You sure it wasn’t a black dreamscape? They have all the feel of being awake and lucid…. but….

          Liked by 1 person

          May 4, 2018 at 12:53 PM

        • Has anyone ever been both ‘awake’ and ‘lucid’?

          Liked by 1 person

          May 4, 2018 at 1:09 PM

  6. Delicious…

    Liked by 1 person

    May 19, 2018 at 9:35 AM

  7. The spices and sauce on this chicken sound sooo tasty! Great recipe!

    Liked by 1 person

    June 1, 2018 at 10:24 AM

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