Hey There, Cthulhu

Hey there Cthulhu, down there in your sunken city
You’re a billion light years distant and the stars look very pretty
From R’lyeh
So close and yet so far away
Iä, Ië

Cthulhu Fhtagn, or is that k-THOO-loo fuh-TINE?
I can never quite remember, ’cause I’m not in my right mind
Since I met you
No one corrupts the way you do
You know it’s true

Oh, it’s what you’ll do to me
Oh, and all humanity
Oh, you’ll rise up from the sea
Oh, kill everyone slowly
Except the ones like me

Hey there Cthulhu, I’ve been studying your gospel
The Necronomicon, it gives me nightmares something awful
Where I see
The death of all reality
It fills me with glee

So when the stars are right, you’ll come and do your worst
But that’s okay because I know you’ll eat the cultists like me first
When you get here
I know that day is drawing near
I have no fear

Oh, it’s what you’ll do to me
Oh, and all humanity
Oh, you’ll rise up from the sea
Oh, kill everyone slowly

A billion light years seems so far
Below the sea, beyond the stars
Of these humans’ putrid souls you’ll drink your fill
The fools will all make fun of me
But I’ll just laugh maniacally
’Cause no one’s ever suffered like they will

Cthulhu, I can promise you
That by the time this cult gets through
The world will never ever be the same
Praise your dark name!

Phn’glui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wagh’nagl fhtagn
Boy, that’s really quite a mouthful, can’t quite cram it in my noggin
Not today
I try to say it anyway
I feel my soul being to fray
Still I away that frabjous day
Cthulhu calay!

Oh, it’s what you’ll do to me
Oh, and all humanity
Oh, you’ll rise up from the sea
Oh, kill everyone but me
Everyone but me…


Original Music by : Plain White T’s

Satirical Lyrics by: Eben Brooks

Images: 1) Pinterest
2) tumblr
3) tumblr
4) DanielBDemented @ Redbubble

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19 responses

  1. We are amused!

    Liked by 3 people

    April 1, 2018 at 7:27 AM

  2. Had to go and look up the original on the Tube. That made it all make sense, if that’s not too twisted.
    Good job.

    Liked by 1 person

    April 2, 2018 at 3:47 AM

  3. Oooh there is a dark side to you SM…haha! I enjoyed this read🤣

    Liked by 1 person

    April 2, 2018 at 5:22 AM

    • There’s a light side, too… but it’s napping in the sock drawer.

      Liked by 1 person

      April 2, 2018 at 10:32 AM

      • LOL!. I gotta trek over to your sock drawer and say “wakey wakey” we need the lighter side of life too. Have a great week SM 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        April 3, 2018 at 1:39 AM

  4. I CONCUR! I am most definitely amused 🙂 Funny Funny…. I am waiting for this event. .. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    April 2, 2018 at 5:34 AM

    • In that case, Cthulhu will be stopping by your house first. He expects a fine bottle of port to be awaiting him.

      Like

      April 2, 2018 at 10:35 AM

      • Him and I have an arrangement….I pay him two souls a week and he leaves my soul alone … pretty neat arrangement I must say… and the port of course as well that goes without saying 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        April 2, 2018 at 10:40 AM

        • In that case, the soul of my heavy-footed, bad-taste-in-music upstairs neighbor is available anytime you need it.

          Like

          April 2, 2018 at 11:13 AM

  5. I have submitted my next order of souls to be reaped for you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    April 2, 2018 at 11:19 AM

  6. LOL!! I am never going to hear that song the same…

    And now I wanna go read some Lovecraft. 😝

    Liked by 1 person

    April 4, 2018 at 3:20 PM

    • Once you hear the song, there’s no going back…

      … that, in and of itself is somewhat Lovecraftian- irritating possibly, but Lovecraftian nonetheless…

      Liked by 1 person

      April 4, 2018 at 4:33 PM

  7. Josh Hawthorne

    In his house at R’lyeh dead C’thulhu waits dreaming!

    Liked by 1 person

    April 9, 2018 at 7:09 AM

    • Shh… don’t wake him just yet! He’s grumpy in the morning.

      Like

      April 10, 2018 at 11:04 AM

  8. Oh, I like!! Thanks for sharing. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    May 18, 2018 at 12:16 PM

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