Sriracha Mango Chicken ~ A Game of Thrones

“What are quantum mechanics?”
“I don’t know. People who repair quantums, I suppose.” ~ Terry Pratchett

Quite frankly, Sister Madly knows more about the mechanics of a toilet than she feels is necessary.

But this was not always the case; while weekly chores were implemented early in life, basic home repair was never a part of her childhood rearing- apparently, that’s what dads are for. Responsibility was given to her in the form of a psychopathic alarm clock- indeed, Sister Madly doesn’t know how to change a tire, or why the refrigerator makes that funny noise, or how to light the pilot (probably for the best, that last one) but make no mistake: she knows exactly what to do when the alarm clock detonates beside her when she is asleep.

However, these death-defying, skillet-wielding, alarm-silencing ninja-skills are totally useless when it comes to fixing a toilet.

Some 10 years ago, Sister Madly came home to the sound of water running in the tank. While this wasn’t a particularly new phenomenon on planet Earth, Sister Madly never really understood why it happened; thus she decided to investigate.

When she lifted the lid off the tank, so much steam was released that Sister Madly was certain Vincent Price was about to emerge from its depths to Tchaikovsky’s Lake in the Moonlight. When that did not happen- and a bitter disappointment, it was- Sister Madly investigated further to find that the tank was filled with hot water.

Somewhere deep within her twisted psyche was the inkling that this wasn’t suppose to be; however, a tank full of hot water may come in handy should she ever need to thaw a cryogenically-frozen chicken’s head at a moment’s notice. Sister Madly is practical like that.

Still, this did not explain the running water. So upon visiting her parents the next day, the Pater Madly gave her a brief lesson on toilet repair, making a point to say that if the screw was stripped, she would have to bend the float manually.*

* Despite his staggering intellect, the Pater Madly failed to mention certain key phrases, such as ‘call maintenance to fix it for you’… alright, he DID say that, but he should’ve put more emphasis on it.

Now Sister Madly has seen some weird things in her life, but the inner workings of her toilet were just so alien that she was pretty certain it was from another dimension entirely. Still, she managed to find the offending float amidst the fog and, since the screw was stripped, bent the float as directed- well, not bend the float so much as break it off completely.

A note for those smart enough to have called Maintenance in the first place: when one breaks the float off, the tank begins to fill with water.

And it does not stop.

Now the typical Sister Madly response to when something goes horribly wrong is to stare at the disaster and wonder just how long she can live with it. Unfortunately, Sister Madly couldn’t approach the Broken Float Situation with the same devil-may-care attitude, as the risk of a global flood was clearly imminent. Since she could not fix the toilet by staring the hell out of it (she tried) Sister Madly decided to call the Pater Madly, 1AM or not.

For a parent receiving a call in the middle of the night, her dad was remarkably unconcerned; there was more anxiety when she asked him about the Birds and the Bees back in the day.  After being a good father by not saying “I told you to call Maintenance!” he informed her of the life-changing, humanity-saving apparatus lurking beneath the fog: the shut-off valve.

While this did not work completely, it did reduce the imminence of a global flood (you are welcome, human race!) by requiring Sister Madly to flush the toilet every 2 minutes instead of the previous 12 seconds. This of course was cause for celebration, and Sister Madly invited over her neighbor, Velma, where they spent the next 3 hours drinking Bailey’s and flushing the toilet, while rehearsing lines for Velma’s upcoming play: Arthur Miller’s The Creation of the World and Other Business.*

The plumber had never seen 2 such chipper near-victims of toilet tank drowning.

* The ‘Other Business,’ no doubt, being adventures in toilet tank repair. Very perceptive, that Miller fella.

SRIRACHA MANGO CHICKEN

  • 10-12 chicken drumsticks/thighs
  • Yogurt/Sour cream, to serve (opt)

MARINADE

  • 2 tbsp lime juice
  • 1 tbsp sriracha
  • 1 tbsp fresh garlic, minced
  • 1 tbsp fresh ginger, minced
  • 1 tsp smoked paprika
  • 1 tsp tumeric
  • 3-4 tbsp oil

SAUCE

  • 1 cup mango, cubed
  • 1/4 cup sriracha
  • 1 tsp fresh garlic, minced
  • 2 tbsp water
  • 2 tbsp butter

MARINADE
Mix together ingredients for Marinade
Add chicken; shake/mix to coat
Cover; refrigerate for 30 min – 24 hrs

SAUCE
Puree together mango, sriracha, and garlic
Transfer to saucepan
Add butter and water; heat for 15 min, stirring occasionally
Set aside

BAKE
Preheat oven to 400*
Place chicken in a baking tray (for crispier chicken, add baking rack to tray)
Bake for 45 min
Remove from oven, brush chicken with sauce
Return to oven; bake for 10-15 min, or until cooked through
Brush with remaining sauce straight from oven
Serve with yogurt or sour cream

THEME SONG: Lake in the Moonlight (Swan Lake), Tchaikovsky

Advertisements

34 responses

  1. Ha! Toilets are the worse. You would think we could have invented something better by now. I once went to shut the water off and the little knob just kept spinning.

    Chicken looks good!

    Liked by 1 person

    September 17, 2017 at 6:25 AM

    • The shut-off valve failed you? Oh dear…

      It’s true, that there should be something better by now- especially one that self-cleans, which would no doubt earn a Nobel Prize.

      Liked by 1 person

      September 17, 2017 at 10:49 AM

  2. Ya know, duct taping the door frame can work, as a stop gap measure. I’d suggest being on the side of the door away from the deluge before applying the duct tape. Gives you time to develop plausible deniability and/or get out of Dodge.

    I’m glad you and Velma weren’t par boiled! See the importance of the side of the door you’re on now?

    Liked by 1 person

    September 17, 2017 at 6:27 AM

    • Duct tape is waterproof? That knowledge might help in the future- although I don’t care to speculate just how it will…

      Liked by 1 person

      September 17, 2017 at 10:53 AM

      • Duct tape is water resistant. If the surface is clean, dry and not squirming, the non-adhesive side keeps things pretty dry and stays on for a goodly amount of time. And there’s that plausible deniability again.

        Liked by 1 person

        September 17, 2017 at 11:03 AM

        • WHY WOULD THE DUCT TAPE BE SQUIRMING?!?

          What’s plausible to me is often implausible to the person hearing the denial- seriously, what’s so implausible about Cthulhu? Foolish mortals…

          Liked by 1 person

          September 17, 2017 at 11:15 AM

        • Couldn’t agree more Sis, foolish mortals indeed. Squirming duct tape, that usually happens after application.

          Liked by 1 person

          September 17, 2017 at 11:36 AM

        • Application of… what? A curse?

          Liked by 1 person

          September 17, 2017 at 11:49 AM

        • A curse, sure, lets go with that…. maybe.

          ~ ~ ~ hush, hush, somebody’s calling your name ~ ~ ~

          Liked by 1 person

          September 17, 2017 at 12:35 PM

        • Duct tape that squirms and knows my name…

          I’m sleeping in the sock drawer tonight!

          Liked by 1 person

          September 17, 2017 at 12:46 PM

        • Ya might not wanna do that…… Not your parodied but my parodied, he likes to visit socks.

          Liked by 1 person

          September 17, 2017 at 1:12 PM

        • It’s just as well. All my socks are in the laundry.

          Liked by 1 person

          September 17, 2017 at 1:39 PM

  3. Sorry but I laughed at your battle with the toilet float and cistern parts! I hope it is sorted now!! Hot water in thd cistern tank? Thawing chicken in it…LMAO!!😂😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

    September 17, 2017 at 6:55 AM

    • I now know why plumbers get paid so much!

      Liked by 1 person

      September 17, 2017 at 10:50 AM

      • They do indeed! Even in y lil red dot, they pick and choose jobs! Charges just to come and look see ranges from $80 to $150, depending on day and time. Arrgh! I should have taken a vocation as a plumber as I will be happily picking and choosing my customers. If they are nasty buggers lol I charge more! Cheers SM and have a happy Work week ahead. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        September 17, 2017 at 6:03 PM

  4. sister Madly, this is so horrifying, and I can so relate, that’s why it is so horrifying! Once on returning from a short holiday upon opening the door I was met with such a stench I was certain a dead body was in my apartment, rather I had left the toilet “running on” (a term I learned later) and it overflowed flooding the carpeting and of course stinking to high heaven. That cost me a pretty penny! Lovely recipe I intend to try out in the very near future. Many hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

    September 17, 2017 at 3:21 PM

    • Ugh! Nothing worse that coming home to find that the plumbing has turned against you! I’d suggest that we all just get rid of these obviously evil things, but something tells me we’d all regret that decision before long.

      Liked by 1 person

      September 18, 2017 at 9:52 AM

  5. As always, there are layers and layers to SM’s reports. Vampires in the toilet! And I thought that clowns in the catacombs of the sewer system were scary. And what do we make of hot water in the toilet tank? Could these be early signs of The End – “Is it tomorrow, or just the end of time?” Wowsa!

    Liked by 1 person

    September 17, 2017 at 3:27 PM

    • The thing about clowns, though, is that they belong in the sewer- especially those silent, yet expressive, types.

      I always assumed that the Signs of the End would be much more overt, with comets and war tanks and endless road construction. Never did I think it would be more subtle; this might explain the weird noise my refrigerator makes whenever I’m sitting alone in the dark.

      The End is Near.

      Like

      September 18, 2017 at 9:59 AM

  6. In the woods, dear, in the woods. It’s only natural.
    (And for those who don’t know how – NOT near running water.)

    Well done for sharing exactly the recipe I was searching for on Saturday. Couple of days earlier would have been better, so I had to improvise a bit. And I only had 7 chicken legs – who ever heard of a chicken with 7 legs? Must have been in a fight, or maybe chewed one off following an encounter with K’hayeffsealunch, The Foul Devourer (“It’s tentacle lickin’ chaos”).

    Sleep well.

    Liked by 1 person

    September 18, 2017 at 10:23 PM

    • The woods are a bit of a hike from here- but the neighbor’s lovely laurel hedge is nearby…

      A chicken with 7 legs? I feel that such a creature is not a victim of circumstance, but the antagonist in disguise!

      Like

      September 20, 2017 at 12:31 AM

  7. Very entertaining– your toilet experience. And many thanx for the recipe.

    Liked by 1 person

    September 19, 2017 at 12:46 AM

    • And thank you for stopping by! I do appreciate it. ;c)

      Like

      September 20, 2017 at 12:25 AM

  8. Sister, I love all of this (it’s long been my suspicion that plumbers belong to a sorcerous guild that deliberately sabotages all our efforts to fix such things ourselves) but you get extra props for that Dorthy-Alice illo. ^_^

    Liked by 1 person

    September 20, 2017 at 4:12 PM

    • It may be true, what you say about plumbers- after all, they do have apprentices…

      Liked by 1 person

      September 20, 2017 at 6:31 PM

  9. If you have an outhouse out back, the plumber need not know your name & you need not a plumbing bill… and silly high-tech flushing is unnecessary…

    I highly recommend a simple outhouse outback for a less traumatic & more fulfilling experience…

    Liked by 1 person

    September 26, 2017 at 10:50 AM

    • When constructing an outhouse, is the last-quarter moon mandatory for the door?

      Liked by 1 person

      September 26, 2017 at 12:58 PM

      • Yes ~ and a hole in the ground. The last-quarter moon cut-out in the door provides you free lighting during the day. Night time it is hit or miss…

        Liked by 1 person

        September 26, 2017 at 3:43 PM

  10. true that! may be you can read my blogs too..sometimes.. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    October 6, 2017 at 10:35 AM

  11. So scared!!! but it is good for Halloween :))…thanks for your sharing

    Liked by 1 person

    October 16, 2017 at 10:53 PM

If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.