Chip Shop Curry Sauce ~ The Thyme Lord

Folk Songs have a lot to answer for. ~ Terry Pratchett

Earlier at the Faire, Sister Madly was Romancing the Stone: a quest where one picks a numbered stone* in hopes of connecting with their True Love -only now, thanks to her friends, her Token to True Love had been switched out for a pair of Mystery-Flavored Dum Dums.

* #88, although she could have been reading that upside down.

Amongst the reasons given for this heartless kleptomania was the logic that, in Arthurian legends, all heroes fight epic battles for love.* “Romance wasn’t so easy in those days, Sister Madly; the sooner you retrieve your rock from the Dodo, the sooner you can find your True Love and bask in the satisfaction of a job well-done. ”

* No doubt Karma had a hand in this as well. 

That is how Sister Madly found herself down at the Living History Camp casing the Dodo’s pavilion, one so dismal and so depressing that even the flies were on Zoloft.

After a lengthy self-interrogation, Sister Madly decided that there was no need to bother the Dodo with her petty relationship issues (even though he was the reason she was having said issues.) It would be so much kinder to just creep around the back and crawl under the canvas- indeed, Sister Madly can be so considerate, sometimes (take that, Karma!)

But the man* she encountered inside was not the Dodo.

* Well, not a man so much as a shrubbery.

Some would say that by not parading into the pavilion through the front entrance she revealed herself as an intruder, but Sister Madly remained ever optimistic. Sure, she lacked certain qualities inherent in all homegrown plague doctors- such as the creepy bird mask and absolutely any knowledge of the Plague whatsoever- but unrealistic confidence is 80% of the battle: if she believes that she is part of the Guild, everyone else will believe it as well. Or at least 80% will.

Drop that Plague and turn around slowly!

By the look on his face, this shrubbery was one of the 20%. Perhaps Sister Madly underestimated that whole ‘enter a residence through the front door’ thing; she made a mental note to try it sometime.

Despite his disbelief, the Shrubbery insisted that he wasn’t looking to steal the Plague, but to be cured of it.

Sir, that is how she cures the Plague!

He remained unconvinced. “You’re making that up.”

Well, yes, but making a point in the process. As Confucius once said, Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated…

…and what’s that smell? Is that basil?

The Shrub was horribly offended. “Thyme.”

So, you’re a Thyme Lord.

The Shrubbery was just as skeptical. Apparently, a Plague-Ridding Professional had absolutely no business dressing as a medieval-highwayman-gypsy-thief thing with a wee bit of pirate sprinkled in- absolutely none.

What? It’s casual Saturday!

Clearly she would lose her plausibility as a card-carrying member of the Plague-Ridding Profession if she didn‘t figure out a way to cure this Thyme Lord in a manner that he found acceptable. He seemed very picky.

Well, sir, did you ever just consider not dying?

The Thyme Lord found her method lacking, going so far as to imply that there would be a special place in purgatory for impersonating the avian Florence Nightingale.

Impersonating? Does she look anything like Slender Bird?

“No. That’s the point.”

Precisely. If she doesn’t look like the Dodo in a Black Dress, then she cannot be accused of impersonation. Besides, you’re one to talk, being dressed as a Thyme Lord and all.

Now, there are times when logic fails our dear Moppet. Had Sister Madly entered the pavilion through the front door like a civilized burglar, she would have noticed several Shrubberies enjoying a pint just outside the entrance.

“That’s Parsley. And Sage. Rosemary…”

That’s right, Sister Madly: the shrubbery you encountered during your burglary attempt was not a Thyme Lord, but a key ingredient of Simon and Garfunkal’s spice rack.

It was then that she realized just how serious the situation was: the Plague that needed to be cured here was the horrific Plague of Unforgivable Puns.*

* If any of you point out that ‘Thyme Lord’ is, itself, a pun, Sister Madly will be very unhappy with you.

And so Sister Madly handed him a fistful of Dum Dums.

“What am I suppose to do with these?”

Well, first you unwrap the Dum Dum, then you stick it in your mouth. That’s where things get a bit technical…

… or she can axe off your leg, if you’d like.


  • 2”- 3” ginger root, minced
  • 1/2 green apple, minced
  • 1 sm onion, minced
  • 1-2 cloves garlic, minced
  • 1½ tsp curry powder
  • 1/4 tsp garam masala
  • 1/4 tsp Chinese 5 Spice
  • 1½- 3 cups vegetable stock
  • salt/pepper, to taste
  • Oil, for sauteing

Saute onion, ginger, garlic, and apple in hot oil until soft; 5-10 min
Add curry, garam masala, salt/pepper, and 5 spice; saute 30 sec
Add stock; bring to a boil
Reduce heat; simmer; 15 min
Puree sauce to desired smoothness
If too thick, stir in additional stock and simmer to set flavors

THEME SONG: Scarborough Faire, My Dying Bride


1.) Christopher Lovell
5.) Tumblr


16 responses

  1. ~ ~ ~ If I could save Thyme in a bottle ~ ~ ~

    Oh wait, I do. You may wish to consider the same. Especially so the talking ones. Amazing how glass muffles desperate cries for help, after about an hour.

    I see your axe throwing proficiency is advanced. Well done Ms Madly!

    The recipe looks scrumptious! I’m wondering, would Amontillado and mortar make a good aperitif?

    Liked by 1 person

    July 30, 2017 at 6:07 AM

    • I suppose that would all depend upon to whom said aperitif is being served.

      Liked by 1 person

      July 30, 2017 at 10:32 AM

      • ~ ~ ~ ask any mermaid you happen to see, where’s the best place for a dodo … bottom of the sea ~ ~ ~

        Liked by 1 person

        July 30, 2017 at 11:48 AM


    If you put curry in anything wow! You’ll have me coming back.

    Liked by 1 person

    August 4, 2017 at 5:34 AM


    Also I’m assuming you are a Brit? Most Americans haven’t heard of curried chip sauce. It’s really a shame actually.😞👍🇬🇧

    Liked by 1 person

    August 4, 2017 at 5:38 AM

    • Actually I’m not a Brit. But there are a few British pubs in the area and one of them serves curried chips- it’s about time the world learns of this magnificent delicacy!


      August 5, 2017 at 12:16 PM

  4. Yes.
    It’s pronounced “worcestershire sauce”.
    Totally acceptable not to enunciate the capitalization of the W.
    The residents of Bicester and Towcester are bewildered by the confusion surrounding such simple language. Even foreigners from as far afield as Ardnamurchan and Betws-y-Coed can pronounce such basic names (although you might be amused by their attempts to spell some of them.)
    Residents of Whitianga, however, would choose instead to say “Lea and Perrin’s” and be done with it.
    You are welcome.

    Liked by 1 person

    August 4, 2017 at 5:50 PM

    • I do believe you’re quite right: I’ve been trying to pronounce a capital ‘W’. This may actually change my life. Thank you.


      August 5, 2017 at 12:24 PM

  5. I only pronounce the capital “W” when I’m trying to impress guests. But I’ve been known to invite people to leave for pronouncing “DESpicable” as “DesPICable.”

    Liked by 1 person

    August 8, 2017 at 11:09 AM

    • I just spent the last few minutes trying to pronounce ‘despicable.’ I think I’m going to have to strike that word from my vocabulary.

      Liked by 1 person

      August 8, 2017 at 12:50 PM

      • LOL Back in the day Daffy Duck started saying it incorrectly. And, sadly, people who didn’t know the word thought Daffy’s pronunciation was correct. I’m a PITA about formidable, too.

        Liked by 1 person

        August 8, 2017 at 9:09 PM

        • Oh, Daffy… now I KNOW I have to strike the word from my vocab! I can’t hear it any other way.

          Now ‘Formidable’ I can say…. I think…

          Liked by 1 person

          August 9, 2017 at 9:51 AM

        • LOL It’s good to know that, while world leaders don’t really influence our daily lives, cartoon ducks do! for MID able

          Liked by 1 person

          August 9, 2017 at 11:07 AM

  6. The Thyme Lord pun drew me here, and the curry recipe made me keep reading. You have a very unique style, love it.

    Liked by 1 person

    August 8, 2017 at 9:09 PM

    • Thank you!! ;c)

      ‘Thyme’ Lords… they are much less exciting when you realize that you’re talking to an herb.

      Liked by 1 person

      August 9, 2017 at 9:54 AM

  7. elmediat

    Save your thyme by using Bestishshire Sauce. Remember to curry favour at the Faire with Mr. Chipps – use good chocolate.

    Liked by 1 person

    August 12, 2017 at 10:05 PM

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