Tom Kha Gai ~ Romancing the Stone

People would take pains to tell her that beauty was only skin-deep, as if a man ever fell for an attractive pair of kidneys ~ Terry Pratchett

The last time Sister Madly went on the prowl was at the Renaissance Faire some years ago. The outcome was less than favorable.

Perhaps unwisely, Sister Madly found herself Romancing the Stone, a quest where one picks a numbered stone from a basket with the goal of finding the individual with the corresponding number from another basket. It is the one weekend at the Faire where the wandering minstrels are drowned out by the sounds of a medieval-love bingo game. Yet despite the pretext of feral romance, this venture was not without risks; she was just as likely to end up with a starry-eyed inamorato as she would this salty gentleman:

Or this one:

Or this:

Yes, even this:

As you can see, the risk was hardly minimal.

But the quest took a dark turn a few hours later when Sister Madly, who had been sharing a pint with the Scotts of Clan Picnic Blanket, noticed that her Stone was missing.

But even more mystifying was how long it took for her to realized that Dum Dums had been left in its place.

Seriously? Sister Madly’s future happiness is to be at the mercy of a corpse-bird in a black negligee? That’s as safe as an ejection seat in a helicopter! The Dodo was an absolute philistine when it came to all-things whimsical; the only reason he would carry a heart-shaped rock was if he was attending a stoning in the square.

Nevertheless, one can’t discredit a fact just because one doesn’t like the reality of it- and judging by the adolescent snickering across the way, Clan Picnic Blanket was a party to this latest bit of skullduggery.

You know, Snickering Scotts, you could have said something when you saw someone pilfering her Stone- you know the Dodo’s fondness for Sock Trafficking; now he’s going to sell her Stone to some little love tart and leave Sister Madly to die an old maid! She might as well go home right now and start collecting kittens.

Then again, how did you not notice the theft, Sister Madly? The patterns in the picnic table were not so interesting to have missed the Big Bird of Creepiness looming over your shoulder. A creature like that should have stuck out like a cactus in a pancake.

While the Scotts freely admitted their part in the theft, they insisted that they were doing her a favor: they didn’t give her Stone to the Dodo to guarantee her spinsterhood, but to secure her a soul mate. Sure, the Dodo had his faults- an unsunny disposition, looks that were in league against him, not to mention that whole ‘plague’ thing- but at least Sister Madly knew what she would be getting herself into, unlike most blind dates. She could still look for the original suitor if she wished, but should she find that suitor, well, unsuitable, she had a backup- how many people can say as much? Just write that number on some random rock, and make all your soul mate dreams come true!

Besides- had she seen the other wandering romantics?

You know, Scott, if Sister Madly had a chalupa, she would so throw it at you right now! She doesn’t take kindly to people who steal her rocks- her vegetables, yes, but not her rocks. And isn’t the reason 2 individuals are set up because they are believed to be compatible?

“Romance isn’t meant to be easy, Sister Madly. Besides, it’s the Dark Ages- you take what you can get!”

No doubt this was intended to console her, as condescending arrogance is wont to do; unfortunately, all Sister Madly heard was a dare…

Yes, the Dark Ages- what a time to be alive!

TOM KHA GAI

  • 6 boneless chicken thighs, cubed
  • 1 onion, chopped
  • 3 garlic cloves, minced
  • 2” ginger, minced
  • 2 chilies, chopped and seeded to taste
  • 8 oz. shiitake mushrooms, sliced
  • 3 Tbsp green curry paste
  • 3 Tbsp fish sauce
  • (2) 14 oz. cans coconut milk
  • 3-4 cups broth
  • 1/4 cup Thai basil, chopped
  • 2 Tbsp lime juice
  • Salt/Pepper, to taste
  • Ghee/Oil, for sauteing

Saute onion in a stockpot until translucent, 5 min
Add garlic, ginger, and mushrooms; saute, 3-5 min
Add curry paste; mix
Add chicken; stir to coat
Mix in coconut milk, broth, chilies, and fish sauce; bring to a boil
Reduce heat and simmer until chicken is cooked; approx 30 min
Mix in lime juice and basil; remove from heat

THEME SONG: Made of Stone, The Stone Roses


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27 responses

  1. I was surprised by the theme song. I’d of thought it would have been ELO’s, “Turn Someone To Stone”.

    That would be the “Evil Licentious Orchestra”. Sure, easy to confuse them but…

    That ELO can’t do this; so whom do you desire on your side?

    http://www.spellsofmagic.com/spells/luck_spells/misfortune_spells/14251/page.html

    Liked by 1 person

    April 23, 2017 at 5:53 AM

    • I’m a bit inept at spells, as I am just as likely to turn myself into stone as I would anyone else.

      Then again, my Guardian Angel would probably appreciate the few weeks vacation time that mistake would provide him.

      Liked by 1 person

      April 23, 2017 at 12:06 PM

      • You are quite considerate and I’m sure your angel appreciates that. It is somewhat presumptuous but your angel probably appreciates the danger pay.

        Liked by 1 person

        April 23, 2017 at 12:09 PM

  2. Hilarious….well done….

    Liked by 1 person

    April 23, 2017 at 5:53 AM

    • Thank you! Lesson learned: best not to place one’s hopes in a medieval love-finding bingo rock.

      Liked by 1 person

      April 23, 2017 at 11:59 AM

  3. ah yes, when you ladies pry your narrow minds open enough to allow in the expansive odors of one of us creepy old horn dogs, and give us at least 3 strikes before we’re out, it’s delightful, is it not?

    Liked by 1 person

    April 23, 2017 at 8:34 AM

    • Delightful, indeed. Or at least interesting. Or entertaining. Strange. Baffling. What-On-Earth-Was-I-Thinking. It’s one of those.

      Liked by 1 person

      April 23, 2017 at 11:57 AM

      • probably “strange” – which, in turn, is probably the origin of the continuation ~ “stranger” ~ like in “a stranger drops by…”

        and you’re on a blind date again ~ what a vicious circle! No wonder so many folks are hiding under rocks…

        Liked by 1 person

        April 23, 2017 at 9:07 PM

        • Yet, somehow the Earth’s population continues to increase… what grand mystery is this?!?

          Liked by 2 people

          April 23, 2017 at 10:10 PM

  4. The secret might be found in the tome, Watership Down, a long & involved rabbit story… I’ve obviously not read it, but maybe you have. Have you?

    Liked by 1 person

    April 25, 2017 at 8:27 AM

    • Not so much ‘read’ as ‘briefly skimmed through’… so no, not really. But since it involves rabbits, I think we need to look no further.

      Liked by 1 person

      April 25, 2017 at 12:09 PM

      • i agree. if we examine more studiously this tome we might very well find the grand mystery illustrated time & time again… armed with this knowledge we’ll be able to emerge from out under rocks into the light of day & maybe have a woodstock-concert type celebration!

        dang it, i’ve lost my pipe! where’s my pipe?

        Liked by 1 person

        April 25, 2017 at 4:13 PM

  5. locksley2010

    You could always try my approach: contact someone you like, ask them out- nothing ventured, nothing gained….. Even if they decline. 20 seconds of insane courage is all you need!

    Liked by 1 person

    May 3, 2017 at 11:23 AM

    • Let’s see- I can muster about 12 seconds of insanity, plus about 6.5 of courage- that equals 18.5 seconds. Will that do?

      Liked by 1 person

      May 3, 2017 at 11:55 AM

      • locksley2010

        That actually sounds about right, to be fair. Doitdoitdoitdoit!

        Liked by 1 person

        May 3, 2017 at 11:56 AM

        • It seems that I miscalculated the insanity:courage ratio- the courage never had a chance to kick in, and now I have a date with a parking meter.

          Liked by 1 person

          May 3, 2017 at 12:11 PM

        • locksley2010

          Oh, I heard about those! They just take and take then ignore you. I’m so sorry!

          Liked by 1 person

          May 3, 2017 at 12:22 PM

        • Well! It turns out it was already seeing someone named Rita on the side! Who would’ve thought…

          Liked by 1 person

          May 3, 2017 at 7:50 PM

        • locksley2010

          Parking meters are all the same, they can’t be trusted!

          Liked by 1 person

          May 4, 2017 at 12:47 AM

  6. I want to know the number on that rock……hmm…it could have matched mine… 🙂

    Lovely read…been away for awhile….always good to hear of your escapades Dear Madly…

    Liked by 1 person

    May 8, 2017 at 6:18 AM

    • The number was 88- but I could have been reading that upside down, I’m not sure.

      And your number?

      Like

      May 8, 2017 at 11:13 AM

  7. Number 33 … But I am quickly grabbing a marker….(we make our fate as they say 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    May 8, 2017 at 12:05 PM

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