The Spy Who Loved Me

It was a common sight that summer, the old refrigerator box moving upright across the lawn.

To the untrained eye it was a free-spirited box, pouncing upon puffball mushrooms and chasing fireflies with unmistakable good cheer. But what the untrained eye did not realize was that this wasn’t just childhood whimsy; this was a mission of the highest caliber, one that demanded both stealth and discretion.

spy

You see, Sister Madly was utterly convinced that her neighbor, Harry, was a Russian spy.

It was not an easy conclusion to reach as the classic signs of Russian pride were absent, such as fur hats and vodka parties, and bowls of borscht on a Saturday night. But there was no mistaking the subtler signs, the ones sadly overlooked by the federal government: the mowing of the lawn before 7 AM; the cans of fruit cocktail he gave to children on Halloween; the disapproval when Sister Madly’s hula hoop got stuck in his tree ‘yet again.’ Yet the incident that all but confirmed Harry’s Soviet sympathies was the night questionable music drifted from the shed tucked away behind his house.

A song that referenced alien abduction.*

* Come Sail Away by Styx

All the music that ever mattered could be found at the roller rink, sandwiched between Roxette’s Joyride and the closing anthem of We Are the World. But this little ditty which encouraged extra-terrestrial naughtiness was nowhere to be found at these skating parties, leading Sister Madly to the obvious conclusion that the song was a code to be deciphered.

Even though the word ‘alien’ never appears in the song, by simply mentioning a starship, the aliens are implied- which was a clever move on the part of the Russians. The ‘alien’ was without a doubt Harry as he proved himself a stranger by strangely suggesting that Sister Madly was not using her hula hoop properly since she kept getting it stuck up in the tree.

airship-shadowarcher80-deviantart

As for the starship, there was no such craft parked in his driveway, nor on the street in front of his house. Obviously Harry had the craft hidden away, which could only mean that the starship was inflatable. Yes, somewhere on that property there was a zeppelin stuffed into a coffee can, ready to be inflated and deployed at a moment’s notice- and that moment was approaching. Clearly this was the message hidden in the song. A brilliant lot, them Russians.

And just as Sister Madly was congratulating herself on the cracking of this code, there came a polite knock on the side of her box.

box

But it wasn’t Harry; it was her dad. And it seemed that after days of watching the refrigerator box amble through it’s many misadventures, he managed to work up just enough curiosity to ask what it was that Sister Madly was doing.

Maybe she should tell him about Harry- after all, when it came to fighting international spies, her dad was probably a bit more capable than she.

To her surprise, the Pater Madly did not seem particularly threatened by the Russians; in fact, he seemed to imply that his greatest foes were a bit little closer to home- the bats living in the chimney, for example. And the wasp’s nest.

Sister Madly had to admit that she did not know which country was currently #1 on the International Espionage Watch List. Perhaps Russia was so last Tuesday. Perhaps another nation was now a greater threat, someplace mysterious and largely unfathomable- like Paducah.

silver-spurs-paula-strahan

But just as it was with Russia, the badges of Kentucky pride were absent, such as silver spurs. Harry didn’t wear silver spurs, not even with his comfy, tasseled loafers. But he did whistle now and then, to prove his good cheer. Yes, Paducah was a possibility.

Not only was her dad remarkably unconcerned, he was amused, which made Sister Madly wonder if he was a spy as well. After all, he made ice tea in the old apple juice jars, and in the refrigerator one couldn’t tell the difference between the two. Because of this, Sister Madly was often given ice tea ‘by mistake’- which is just the thing a spy would do, in her opinion.

hula-hoop-tree

The Pater Madly, however, did nothing to deny – or defend – his ties with Russia (or those with Paducah, for that matter.) Instead, he simply informed Sister Madly that he had gotten her hula hoop out of the tree.

And on the advice of her father, Sister Madly did her best not to get the hula hoop stuck up in Harry’s tree- if her dad was doing his part to improve relations with Russia, she might as well do hers.

She got it stuck on the roof of the garage instead.

THEME SONG: Come Sail Away, Styx


IMAGES:

2) shadowarcher80.deviantart.com
4) Paula Strahan

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39 responses

  1. Thank you for clearing up something that’s been niggling at me for, ohhhhhh at least 4 minutes. Now I know why Airplane changed their name to Starship, possessed by Aliens.

    Thanks for your wonderful incite (not a typo) Ms Madly!

    Liked by 1 person

    September 10, 2016 at 5:32 AM

    • Hmm. I just assumed they changed their name because they upgraded their sweet ride. Why take a plane when you can have a starship?

      But I suppose aliens is a much more logical explanation.

      Liked by 1 person

      September 10, 2016 at 12:41 PM

      • I guess they figured once that whole probe down the bunny …. shhhhhh they’re listening, get your colander.

        Liked by 1 person

        September 10, 2016 at 2:04 PM

        • They stole my colander!

          Liked by 1 person

          September 10, 2016 at 2:12 PM

        • Then we’ll get you a new colander. One of those deluxe models that has 4 feet instead of 3.

          Liked by 1 person

          September 11, 2016 at 7:36 AM

        • Colanders have feet?! Perhaps it wasn’t stolen, then, but simply walked away.

          Liked by 1 person

          September 11, 2016 at 11:49 AM

        • Started walking a mile a day 6 weeks ago and now you have no idea where it is kind of thing?

          Liked by 1 person

          September 11, 2016 at 12:39 PM

        • Yes. Or I started walking a mile a day 6 weeks ago and I don’t know where I am. Hard to say…

          Liked by 1 person

          September 11, 2016 at 12:49 PM

        • That’s you over there ——–>

          Liked by 1 person

          September 11, 2016 at 1:25 PM

        • Actually, that’s a teacup.

          Liked by 1 person

          September 11, 2016 at 1:36 PM

        • And here we are back among those made mad by aliens. I know, “I’m a little teapot” but this, “That’s A Teacup” never heard of it.

          Liked by 1 person

          September 11, 2016 at 1:42 PM

        • When I look that direction, I see a teacup. Perhaps it was left there by aliens, as it is not filled with tea.

          And… you’re a little teapot?

          Liked by 1 person

          September 11, 2016 at 1:53 PM

        • Well I don’t know about a teapot but I been probed enough the last couple days!

          Liked by 1 person

          September 14, 2016 at 8:39 AM

        • Russell’s Teapot!

          Liked by 1 person

          September 14, 2016 at 11:41 AM

        • Feels more like Schrodinger’s fur ball!

          Liked by 1 person

          September 15, 2016 at 4:55 AM

  2. locksley2010

    Look at that picture again, Moppet…. That isn’t a spy, it’s an agent for the Dodo disguised AS a spy, but his black brimmed hat gives away the game!

    Liked by 1 person

    September 10, 2016 at 5:53 AM

    • A spy within a spy, within a spy… it’s like onion! And onions are evil, which proves your theory!

      But what to do about it?

      Liked by 1 person

      September 10, 2016 at 12:36 PM

      • locksley2010

        Slice and dice and fry until no longer acidic? Confuse him with green jelly beans leading to the rubbish dump!

        Liked by 1 person

        September 10, 2016 at 12:39 PM

        • But not without onion chopping goggles!

          Liked by 1 person

          September 10, 2016 at 12:42 PM

        • locksley2010

          Oh, yeah!

          Liked by 1 person

          September 10, 2016 at 1:50 PM

  3. locksley2010

    Harry played Roxette’s ‘Joyride’? I like the sound of this guy!

    Liked by 1 person

    September 10, 2016 at 5:57 AM

    • Actually, ‘Joyride’ was played at the roller skating rink- always seemed to be the opening song, regardless of the decade.

      Harry might have played it, but if he did, it was in secret.

      Liked by 1 person

      September 10, 2016 at 12:33 PM

  4. Beautifully written!

    Liked by 1 person

    September 10, 2016 at 8:55 AM

  5. Oh that was awesome. It really enlivened my morning.

    Liked by 1 person

    September 10, 2016 at 11:25 AM

  6. Reblogged this on wwwpalfitness.

    Liked by 1 person

    September 11, 2016 at 4:59 PM

  7. Me thinks YOU are the alien trying to befuddle us with this story of yours…I will not be taken in by your smoke and mirrors woman! Take off your Human skinsuit and show us who you really be!

    Liked by 1 person

    September 12, 2016 at 2:01 PM

  8. Heartafire

    ‘enchanting!

    Liked by 1 person

    September 15, 2016 at 4:18 PM

  9. Delightful story delightfully told. I am glad to find this.

    Liked by 1 person

    October 8, 2016 at 11:48 PM

  10. Pingback: Curated Poetry: Ward Clever Changes The Story – Ward Clever

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