Elder God Evangelism ~ A Chick Tract Parody
Inspired by the controversial, often inaccurate, fire-and-brimstone world of cartoonist Jack Chick.**
(By Howard Hallis)
* I shall never sleep calmly again when I think of the horrors that lurk ceaselessly behind life in time and space, and of those unhallowed blasphemies from elder stars that dream beneath the sea… HPL *
* The thing cannot be described- there is no language for such abysms of shrieking and immemorial lunacy… HPL *
** Website may be blocked in some countries.
Who Will Be Eaten First? by Howard Hallis
Sister Madly
The Sixpence at Her Feet 
Why Ms Moppet how absolutely delicious you are!
Tis a Mad Mad Mad Mad World
I may have need to confer with the Old Ones. If not the Old Ones perhaps the gore encrusted spirit of Lovecraft himself?
If I drive the bus will you take me to the revelations of insanity or the insanity of Revelations?
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January 31, 2016 at 4:36 PM
The bus only has enough gasoline to make it to the Mountains of Madness… is that close enough?
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January 31, 2016 at 4:42 PM
That will be perfect. I think I can get us a horse for the rest of the trek.
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January 31, 2016 at 4:47 PM
One without no name?
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January 31, 2016 at 4:51 PM
Indubitably my dear Madly, indubitably.
I understand that horse does have friends, you know just in case. 😉
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January 31, 2016 at 4:54 PM
4 friends, no doubt.
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January 31, 2016 at 5:03 PM
I hadn’t thought of them and that is a damn good idea!
I was thinking of two others.
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January 31, 2016 at 5:13 PM
Well good thing, I lost whatever slim thread of sanity I had years ago..seems like I am have had thorough preparation for the ensuing “madness”. Eats cookie and burps.
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February 1, 2016 at 2:51 AM
Perhaps the Elder Gods have chosen you to lead the madness!
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February 1, 2016 at 11:39 AM
As long as I do not need a resume, it pays well, and the Gods don’t mind my irregular sleeping patterns, sounds like a good job, a good gig.
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February 1, 2016 at 11:36 PM
Hired!
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February 2, 2016 at 11:33 AM
I am hoping someone before me with a very poor diet gives the monster , Cthulhu, horrible indigestion and all the ant-acid medicine has gone missing across the entire planet… and all the rest of us are spared at the midnight hour……Then we all party hard at the Mountain of Madness….I’ll bring the chips and dip…… (as you can see I have thought long and hard about my impending doom)
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February 1, 2016 at 1:22 PM
Hmm…. maybe a pastry chef. Since Cthulhu’s diet seems to consist of strictly meat (in human form) it is possible that he is gluten intolerant and cannot eat bread.
And I’ll be on the south side of the Mountain with the Cider!
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February 1, 2016 at 2:13 PM
Cider ! Yes…..is it too late for the Mistletoe ? It is the end of the world you know… 🙂 If you see me I will the one wearing the bread bodysuit from head to toe…..
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February 2, 2016 at 7:15 AM
There is a mistletoe farm at Base Camp 1. That is why they are called the Mountains of Madness!
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February 2, 2016 at 11:35 AM
Bloody Brilliant!
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February 2, 2016 at 5:49 AM
I am entertaining the idea of printing a few copies and leaving them around town- just as the Elder gods have commanded.
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February 2, 2016 at 11:37 AM
How I’ve missed you dear moppet!
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February 2, 2016 at 11:53 AM
;c) Missed you as well!
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February 3, 2016 at 1:01 PM
*Dances the jig of awesome*
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February 3, 2016 at 1:06 PM
*applauds and tosses a few pieces of silver at your feet*
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February 3, 2016 at 1:12 PM
As an ex-Christian and drawer of comics m’self, I cannot adequately convey how much I appreciate this. Brilliant! 😛
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March 14, 2016 at 4:17 PM
Thank you!! I can certainly empathize (except for the drawer of comics part- I have no talent there.)
As a kid, I use to leave horrid Chick tracts around town. But having shared the this truth about the Elder Gods, I now feel those past indiscretions are forgiven. ;c)
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March 14, 2016 at 4:46 PM
I think they’re forgiven. I used to do horrid things like that too. It’s hard to look back on really, so a little humour like this helps a lot! 🙂
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March 14, 2016 at 4:50 PM
Yes, humor is an absolute must!
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March 14, 2016 at 4:58 PM