A Magical Wonderland of Latent Kisses

When it comes to the general public, the most dangerous plant on the face of the Earth is not a mutated Venus Flytrap, nor is it Poison Ivy, Poison Oak, or a Cactus.

No, it is this thing:

mistletoe

Because those compelled to obey the Mistletoe are never the ones you want to heed the call.

And because you never know where the Mistletoe is going to turn up, like in a Quonset-Hut-turned-Chinese-Bar at the annual gathering of The Creepiest People on the Planet; or at the Blue Moon, where Sister Madly once danced with South American, or at the Professors’ Chanukah/Solstice/Christmas Fusion Party. As to which holiday was being celebrated at said party, that all depended upon to whom that question was directed.

So it was with the usual desperate holiday cheer that the Professors blasted Sister Madly from her lovely, toasty, velvet cocoon of a bed that morning, with a message informing her (or as they insisted, reminding her) of the aforementioned party a mere 30 minutes before Sister Madly was expected to be there- with a smile, hopefully, but that part was negotiable.

Due to the Professors’ unease of her questionable culinary skills- specifically, her penchant for blue mushrooms and purple potatoes- it was determined long before Sister Madly even knew there was a party that she would be in charge of the decorations thus eternally banished from the kitchen. Any and all pre-party snacks were to be slipped to her beneath the door for the duration of the pre-party preparations; those treats that were lost to the cats in the process were regarded as inevitable sacrifices to the cause.*

* That last part made sense to her at the time.

It was also requested that she not set fire to the German Pinwheel thingy this time around.

candle carousel

Thus Sister Madly arrived on the Professors’ doorstep as requested, all big-haired and bleary-eyed, armed with cider, Mistletoe, and not one blue mushroom or purple potato. She even went so far as to tuck away her German Pinwheel Pyromania in the back of her car- out of arm’s reach, surely, but still within the vicinity should the night call for it.

Now there are times in which Sister Madly feels that, amongst the Professors, her presence goes largely unnoticed while her absence is never quite forgiven. Perhaps this is why her unladylike thundering about was overlooked that day as she proceeded to hang Mistletoe in every doorway, in every non-doorway, over every available chair, over the designated snack table (which she quickly removed, as Sister Madly wanted unrestricted access to this location) over the bar, even over the most strategic location in the bathroom.

Her Mistletoe masterpiece, however, was reserved for the basement:

lots of mistletoe

So while the Professors were upstairs blissfully drinking and cooking (but mostly drinking) amongst the cupboards of painted birds, Sister Madly was gleefully transforming the Enchanted Forest of Happy Little Trees below into a Magical Wonderland of Latent Kisses. Yes, shrubbery… shrubbery everywhere.

Why Mistletoe, you may ask. To begin with, one must understand the mistletoe folklore in Western Culture: while a man is permitted to kiss any woman standing beneath the mistletoe, bad luck would befall any woman who refuses his kiss- which is why Sister Madly will be hanging out on the front porch with a case of cider. Alone.

Mistletoe is also associated with fertility- another reason you’ll find Sister Madly out on the front porch with the cider. Alone.

So why mistletoe?

nn7a0115

Because everyone deserves a chance to be kissed.

Because everyone deserves a moment of magic.

Because it was quarter to 11 in the morning and a grumpy, sleepy-eyed Sister Madly was in need of holiday decorations pronto.

It was just after 6 when the Professors, with their mulled wine and their wassail and cheese cubes on a stick, first found themselves gazing upon the Magical Wonderland of Latent Kisses, with looks of either awe or utter horror at the fact that, no matter where they stood in that basement, they were within a few inches of a kiss.*

* It was horror, no question about it.

This work of art Sister Madly likes to call A Thousand Kisses Deep.

And that was when the first group of guests began to arrive.

THEME SONG: A Thousand Kisses Deep, Leonard Cohen


Images:

4) theprojectpixel.com

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22 responses

  1. Who says you aren’t a chaotician! Well done Ms Madly.

    Rather insidious to proclaim reminder when it could have only been 2nd notice at best. It is never etched until noted 3 times as with a Bloody Mary, errrr Bloody Mary and Bettlejuice.

    I do think adorning the mistletoe with Hershey’s Kisses could have added spice to the wassail, so to speak. Hanging such may have made it so you wouldn’t have had to exile yourself to the front porch. I do believe the expectation and resultant would have indeed been magical for you. Oh well, perhaps next Christmasishwhateverthing-a-majig.

    Liked by 1 person

    December 10, 2015 at 7:03 AM

    • Sister Madly

      I wouldn’t say insidious, merely… moderately nefarious.

      Hershey? Is that the kind of kiss that occurs beneath the mistletoe? If I had known that, I would have sat under one all night!

      Liked by 1 person

      December 10, 2015 at 12:54 PM

      • The idea of attaching Hershey Kisses to the mistletoe is this. You ask the kisser to reach up and get you, the kissee, a chocolate kiss first. Now if the kissee is not inclined to the kisser it gives you a tactical advantage to let them have it with a sucker punch to the kisser’s kisser.

        I think that qualifies for beyond moderately nefarious?

        Liked by 1 person

        December 10, 2015 at 1:13 PM

        • Sister Madly

          I’d say that qualifies, but there seems to be an oversight as I don’t see that scenario anywhere on the quiz.

          Liked by 1 person

          December 10, 2015 at 1:17 PM

        • Random Access Mussing while test taking. Within the bounds of the subject matter with theory application for an other scenario.

          Or maybe I was just amusing myself with a way to help out a poor huddled porch bound friend.

          Liked by 1 person

          December 10, 2015 at 1:23 PM

        • Sister Madly

          Porch bound friend appreciates this- and hopes that you were amused in the process!

          Liked by 1 person

          December 10, 2015 at 1:30 PM

        • 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

          December 10, 2015 at 1:43 PM

  2. That’s a lot of mistletoe! What a wonderful way to decorate for the party! 🙂 Sorry to hear you have to spend the time on the porch to avoid kisses 😦 LOL – Hope you have fun anyway!! 🙂 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    December 10, 2015 at 8:18 AM

    • Sister Madly

      I’m actually not sure how much kissing was going on, but I do know that there was some.

      The porch wasn’t so bad- that’s where they chilled the cider! Also, it was rather simple to blaze from there to the treats- nobody was kissing around the food. ;c)

      Liked by 1 person

      December 10, 2015 at 12:47 PM

      • Sounds like you did have fun!! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        December 10, 2015 at 1:11 PM

        • Sister Madly

          Yes, I did. Thank you!!

          Liked by 1 person

          December 10, 2015 at 1:15 PM

  3. I would have to endeavor to keep a small bit of mistletoe at all times in my pocket then methinks to catch you off guard on the porch….:)

    Liked by 1 person

    December 11, 2015 at 7:13 AM

    • Sister Madly

      With all the cider I had that night, that most likely would not have been a difficult task! ;c)

      Liked by 2 people

      December 11, 2015 at 10:44 AM

  4. Ha ha!! I loved this!! Brilliant way of finding inner peace at an event one does like to be at. Kindly reserve the only kiss worth giving under a spot where mistletoe is and enjoy it! Have a lovely weekend ahead SM and romance cometh your way 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    December 11, 2015 at 7:11 PM

    • Sister Madly

      Hee hee! ;c)

      And I hope you have a lovely weekend as well.

      Liked by 1 person

      December 12, 2015 at 12:43 PM

  5. A good mistletoe experience is when you’re standing under one without knowing it in a room with a pretty girl ~ that’s all I know…

    Liked by 1 person

    December 12, 2015 at 12:00 PM

    • Sister Madly

      Do you speak from experience? ;c)

      Like

      December 12, 2015 at 12:44 PM

  6. T’was wonderful. But, alas, I was too young & stupid to capitalize on it. I’m no longer young. But alas… I’m still stupid. Yuh think?

    Liked by 1 person

    December 12, 2015 at 1:00 PM

    • Sister Madly

      Nah, not stupid. Human. After all, the kiss was with the girl and not with the mistletoe!

      Liked by 2 people

      December 12, 2015 at 1:56 PM

  7. I suppose I’m a good lad. I’ve never had any problems with mistletoe.

    Liked by 1 person

    December 15, 2015 at 2:24 PM

    • Sister Madly

      I have heard of people like you, who are mistletoe-tolerant. Unfortunately, a good majority of the population would benefit from a restricted, if not mistletoe-free, lifestyle. ;c)

      Liked by 1 person

      December 17, 2015 at 7:14 AM

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