The Enchanted Forest
It was several months ago that a certain Professor entertained dreams of painting happy little trees upon the basement wall. In the intervening months, Sister Madly & Co. went on to romanticize those 8 happy little trees into a sweet little forest containing all things mad and magical, but there was that oh-so-slight difference: when it came to this forest, the Professor was thinking enchanting, while Sister Madly – she was dreaming enchanted. As it turned out, these were not the same.
Throughout this 3-month stretch, this particular Professor was constantly waxing nostalgic over a certain idée fixe when it came to the basement’s interior design: despite the 8 freshly painted happy little trees, the walls were still lacking that certain something. It was after yet another afternoon of exhaustive planning, planning, planning that Sister Madly found herself all but begging the Professor to add a Minotaur to this basement scene. Or perhaps a Pan. How about a fairy ring? Even a simple Cheshire Smile will do… for the love of all things polka dot, Professor, do something – please!
But the Professor had no intention of defacing the basement walls with such blatant whimsy.
“Absolutely not, Sister Madly; we’ll be adding birds.”
Birds?! Of all the wonders that the mythological world has to offer, you’re settling on birds?
The Professor, however, mistook Sister Madly’s questioning for confusion over the etymology.
“Birds, Sister Madly: the airborne species… you know, those things with wings?”
Well now, that is a different story!
The reason that Sister Madly was summoned to this specific art and cocktail hootenanny was so that she could paint these creatures upon the enchanted wall. But there was a flaw in this arrangement: you see, Sister Madly can’t paint- yet nobody in her immediate circle seems to understand this. The best she can do in such a situation is inspire a real artist by downloading some pictures.
And download she did:
“Birds are 2-legged creatures, Sister Madly,” the Professor said.
“And they are not adorable little gods.”
“No gods of any kind!”
“Birds, Sister Madly, and I know you know what those are.”
“Real pictures. Not cartoons.”
“Real bird species.”
“Real pictures of real birds.”
“Real birds that exist today.”
“For heaven’s sake- pelicans don’t live in the forest.”*
“JUST STOP IT!!!”
While the removal of the laptop from Sister Madly‘s cold, dead hands may have solved the problem in the technical sense, it seemed the only way to put a stop to her vocal suggestions was to resort to dime store relaxation techniques.
Close your eyes, Sister Madly, and envision yourself at the edge of the cliff overlooking the Gorge – but without that massive brush fire that’s already destroyed two states and is currently breathing down your neck. Just imagine that you are standing there – with your machete, if you must – looking over the serene, rolling hills… the mountains… the river… when you close your eyes, Sister Madly, what do you visualize?
Well Professor, that is easy:
*Sister Madly found this dismissal to be much too hasty on the part of the Professor. After all, seagulls live in parking lots.
THEME SONG: Learning to Fly, Pink Floyd