Sister Madly Dyes at the End

If there is anything that depresses Sister Madly more than cabbages, it’s finding out that someone is trying to poison her.

007

Let’s face it: poisoning another person is not very gracious. In fact, some find it so rude that there are actual laws against it.

It was during one of her innocent frolics throughout the Renaissance Faire some years ago that Sister Madly, per chance, found a PURPLE Jelly Bean at the bottom of her glass. And though a Jelly Bean means absolute squat in this day and age, during that particular era they were considered toxic, with each COLOUR representing a different poison.

And seeing as one had so mysteriously found it’s way into her goblet, Sister Madly could say, within an acceptable margin of error, which miscreant was responsible.

Dodo 4

Just look at him over there, strutting about like some colossal, avian horror: the Dodo, completely indifferent in his BLACK nightdress and creepy beak. He had just tried to poison Sister Madly with a PURPLE Jelly Bean and lacked the common decency to be ashamed of it! Why, he couldn’t have been more blasé if he had just burned down a Wal-Mart. The Dodo was one of those creatures whom always believed that the universe would look after him and, somehow, the universe always did.

This frustrated Sister Madly to no end.

Despite the many wonderful methods of exacting revenge, she settled on the Dodo’s own game. This she accomplished with a rendezvous with the Assassin – some common ne’er-do-well, it turned out, with hair so light and skin so dark that he looked like a photo negative. And here, Sister Madly wasted 10 minutes of her precious life deciding upon which Jelly Bean she would spend $1:

  • RED = LOVE: No. Just no.
  • GREEN = MIND CONTROL: Possibilities with this one.
  • YELLOW = YOUTH: The last thing she needs is an everlasting Dodo.
  • PURPLE = MADNESS: She suspects the Dodo is one corn nut away from this mindset as it is.
  • BLACK = DEATH: Oh sure; the way her luck is going, the poison would bypass all the vital organs and go straight to his hips- which would be quite effective if the Dodo was a girl who worried about that sort of thing.

jelly-bean

The truth is, she never saw the Dodo eat or drink, and he certainly wouldn’t absorb anything through the skin as his very wardrobe was meant to safeguard against this. But that didn’t matter: all Sister Madly really wanted was for the Dodo to know that she could get to him as easily as he could get to her… which wasn’t true in the least, because it took a great deal of finagling and brouhaha to get the Jelly Bean in his tankard- and at a great personal inconvenience, she might add.

But he didn’t need to know that part.

The beauty in this plan was that anyone could be responsible, if you think about it; all she had to do was point the finger. And most of the Faire Folk would believe her; seriously, the Dodo could hardly go about diagnosing everyone with the Plague and expect to remain popular.

pd2

It was over an hour later, after the Pub Sing-Along, that it was pointed out to Sister Madly that not only was there GREEN all over her hands – which she hadn’t noticed, the blind sap – but was also streaked along her neck. And across her temple. And above her eye. For heaven‘s sake, dear child; did any of the poison actually make it into the tankard?

This is why you should wear gloves, Sister Madly. So you don‘t end up poisoning yourself.

There was a certain wisdom in the Dodo’s words; even she admitted that. Yes, Sister Madly, you should have chosen RED, in which case you would’ve fallen deeply in LOVE with yourself, way beyond narcissism, and probably lived happily ever-after. But no; you chose GREEN. You chose MIND CONTROL. Now you are forced to do whatever it is you bid yourself to do. You spent $1 to prove a point to the Dodo – but in the end you were the one who DYED.

Is Sister Madly responsible, you ask? Absolutely, Skeksis ol’ bean! If you don’t wish the Moppet to engage in a dark science, don’t employ dark sciences in the first place.

The Dodo merely stared at her with a look of dull incredulity, or she assumed; he wore a mask, as always, so every expression looked very much like the other. But he did seem to have no idea what she was talking about – unlike his entourage.

And in a moment she lives over and over in her dreams…

The Beak had nothing to do with that, Sister Madly.

Nothing to do with it, they said.

Nothing.

huge mistake

And for the first time in her life, Sister Madly found herself within that acceptable margin of error.

Do you find it so acceptable now?

Fie Chicory…

THEME SONG: Poison, Alice Cooper


Image 4) defectivescissors.deviantart.com

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23 responses

  1. I may be mistaken but wasn’t your Dodo part of the crowd at the mansion in, “Eyes Wide Shut”?

    Thank you for illuminating me that there is “dark science”. I thought all sciences were wonderful.

    And I’m thinkin’ wearing all that mind control green was in reality your way of attracting William Shatner. We all know he likes the Green Girls.

    ~ ~ ~ Biily and Madly sittin’ in a tree ~ ~ ~ you know how it goes.

    As always Milady, at your service

    <—– nods and flys

    Liked by 2 people

    May 14, 2015 at 7:08 AM

    • Sister Madly

      Never saw the movie, but if it’s a masquerade you speak of, then probably. The Venetians have created a mask in his honor, foolish mortals…

      So, the Green Jelly Bean is why I keep getting that Shatner song in my head? Which Jelly Bean gets rid of it?!

      Liked by 1 person

      May 14, 2015 at 2:31 PM

      • Those Blind Venetians, they should be hung by a window.

        The White Jelly Bean rids you of the curse of course. White Majik.

        Liked by 1 person

        May 14, 2015 at 3:16 PM

        • Sister Madly

          White Jelly Bean… I will write that in mustard on my wall.

          Does this work for all music stuck in one’s head?

          Liked by 1 person

          May 14, 2015 at 3:29 PM

        • Yes but there is a codicil. If it is RAP you have to RAP someone while you’re eating the Majik Bean. Physically, metaphysically, by pen, its all good.

          Why else would God have provided us Dodo’s?

          Liked by 1 person

          May 14, 2015 at 4:05 PM

        • Sister Madly

          I do not listen to RAP. That is it’s own genre, into which I never venture.

          Despite what the Dodo may have told you (and the rest of the multiverse) he was so NOT provided by God – this I assure you!!!

          Liked by 1 person

          May 14, 2015 at 4:32 PM

        • Well God did send that Lucifer dude off and who knows what he did! So with my reason there is logic. Jury is still out on the the worthiness of the logic.

          Liked by 1 person

          May 14, 2015 at 4:44 PM

  2. This is why I don’t intentionally poison too many folks. More often than not, I’ll be the one left suffering. I also had no idea about the different colors and what they meant. I eat a lot of Jelly Beans. Now I wonder if I will be a little more cautious about which ones I eat? I also would like to find out which one my neighbor is most likely to serve me…

    Liked by 1 person

    May 14, 2015 at 8:40 AM

    • Sister Madly

      I don’t remember what the other colors do- maybe they are the antidotes? You could have been simultaneously poisoning and curing yourself this entire time. They say to eat a variety of colors when it comes to vegetables, so I imagine this advice is the same for Jelly Beans, and for this very reason.

      Liked by 1 person

      May 14, 2015 at 2:37 PM

      • I like your reasoning, and for that I’m not going to change. I guess I just like to live on the edge.

        Liked by 1 person

        May 15, 2015 at 6:09 AM

  3. Gwahahahaa! Green was always my favourite colour for both jellybeans and M&M’s. Don’t know why, really. Well, I’ve been employing my own mind control now for quite some time, so I guess that is easily explained. But as for green M&M’s, I was always told they make a girl seem a bit … well, … “randy.” (look up the british version, if unsure). But then, Mother Hen, being not a rude lady by any means, always ate the green ones because she A. liked the colour and B.assumed it was all hoakum anyway… although, to this day, she C. lives in hope… xx MH As always, Sister Madly, you are a storyteller supreme. And in keeping with the Alice Cooper theme, “WE’RE NOT WORTHY!!!!”

    Liked by 2 people

    May 14, 2015 at 10:59 AM

    • Sister Madly

      They try to tell us that all M&M’s taste the same, but they don’t! And if the green M&M had those properties, I suspect that its taste would be… desirable. ;c)

      You know, I think it was with the green M&M that I learned the catchphrase ‘melts in your mouth, not in your hand’ was an out-n-out lie. Talk about foreshadowing!

      (And never give up on hope! :D)

      Liked by 1 person

      May 14, 2015 at 2:43 PM

      • Yes….green has a pervasive quality not possessed by any other coloured sweet. Oh those lying M&Ms with their tidy white gloves.. Nothing but a bunch of candy coated charlatans! #iliveinhopealways…

        Liked by 1 person

        May 14, 2015 at 2:51 PM

        • Sister Madly

          But TASTY charlatans! Oh, the eternal battle between betrayal and chocolate…

          Liked by 1 person

          May 14, 2015 at 3:01 PM

  4. locksley2010

    I spied this individual spying on everyone else at my friend’s BBQ: https://locksley2010.files.wordpress.com/2015/05/wpid-wp-1431969927533.jpeg

    Liked by 1 person

    May 18, 2015 at 10:26 AM

    • Sister Madly

      A scout! This means something of course- I just don’t know what it is.

      Or perhaps we should be questioning on whose side your friend is on.

      Be careful, my friend, as you go…

      Like

      May 18, 2015 at 1:26 PM

      • locksley2010

        What I find worrying, for you, is that look at the green syringe in his hand! What if the green that was on your hand wasn’t your doing? Beware indeed…. I hear Skittles counter act the jelly bean poisons!

        Liked by 1 person

        May 18, 2015 at 2:13 PM

        • Sister Madly

          What this?! You’re right- it IS green! Someone once said there are no coincidences, but I never wanted to believe it.

          Next time, at your friend’s house, throw the Scout on the BBQ- I hear Dodo’s are delicious with a port wine sauce. But don’t touch the green goo.

          I’m off to buy skittles… lots and lots of skittles…

          Liked by 1 person

          May 18, 2015 at 2:35 PM

        • locksley2010

          In me showing you and in you giving such advice, we have helped each other. When I next encounter this scout, it shall indeed burn! Until next time, dear friend!

          Liked by 1 person

          May 18, 2015 at 2:41 PM

        • Sister Madly

          And for that, I am truly grateful! Indeed, until next time! ;c)

          Liked by 1 person

          May 18, 2015 at 2:44 PM

  5. Hah! I knew there was a reason why I loved green M&Ms! Mwahaha!😈

    Liked by 1 person

    May 21, 2015 at 11:42 AM

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