The Loco News
It is a little known fact that Sister Madly has a conduit into the local media scene. It would be unfair to say that she has not benefited from this liaison- indeed, with each passing day it becomes evident that it is not her own sanity that the world must question. She has provided you excerpts from actual emails received to support this claim.
~ ON ETIQUETTE ~
… the culprit is XXXX and his obnoxious, loud behavior and general lack of decorum. In a recent show, he drank from a soup plate, which he referred to as a “bowl”. The rim of a soup plate specifically discourages a faux pas like the above mentioned. Please consider that what you show on your station- correct or not- gives the general public license to be crass in their own lives & we surely do not need more of that.
Since the lifting of the soup plate from the soup plate’s plate is an act most barbaric, Sister Madly has decided to address the issue so that she might single-handedly postpone mankind’s descent into the cultural abyss: Use a Spoon.
And always make certain that the clams in your bouillabaisse are Free Range.
~ ON PHOTO SUBMISSION ~
Is there not a category for legit paranormal pics? why not you guys post every other stupid pic in the world! is sent 2 amazing ghost pics to you guys took me almost a year and over 10k pics to get 2 real legit pics!
A legitimate request, this one; Sister Madly herself has a file for paranormal pictures and has for years. It is empty.
~ ON PROPER TERMINOLOGY ~
I watched your segment on Comic Con this weekend and they mentioned the people playing “Dress up.” It is not called dress up, it is cosplay. Referring it to dress up like what children do, which is what the segment appeared to be about, is not the basis of cosplay. (Being a child)
When Sister Madly dressed up for the Renaissance Faire, she and everyone else called it ‘Role Play.’ Themed weekends did not include Steampunk, Star Wars, or Anime in those days- there was the Highland Fling, during which Sister Madly & Co. donned picnic blankets in an attempt to pass them off as tartans. They were unsuccessful, although they did manage to anger some Vikings.
~ ON HEAVEN-KNOWS WHAT ~
HUMMINGBIRD FEEDERS! MINE FROOZED LAST NIGHT! I HAVE A PLASTIC ON, PUT IT IN THE MIRCO TO THAW-OUT. THE LITTLE HUMMERS WHERE VERY HAPPY AND HUNGER!!
Nothing soothes the Madly Soul more than a Hummer at a feeder. Nothing.
~ ON SYMPATHY ~
i feel sorry for XXXX.. every day he gives out the word of the day for the car contest, he’s wearing the same pair of pants. Should i start a facebook page “help XXXX get a new pair of pants?”
Perhaps they’re comfy. Perhaps they’re lucky. Or perhaps he films the week’s Word of the Day segments all at once, which does not require the changing of pants.
~ ON CHILD REARING ~
I realize the story about those people that set themselves on fire in Cleveland was a great cause done for charity, but don’t you think you guys should have put a phrase in front of the story telling people “to not try this at home” due to the young viewers that might be watching this at home. I have alot of small children in my family that watch the news with us grown ups & they had alot of questions I had to explain.
Sister Madly finds this suggestion a most sensible one- provided your children are the type who need to be advised not to set themselves on fire.
~ ON THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS ~
Please ask XXXX what size his waist size is, as I am making a Tutu for his next race.
P.S. It takes a real man to wear a Tutu in public, so I will be kind and make it in Blue!
It was blue. And a lovely shade at that.
Do keep in mind that, should you contact your local media, someone is on hand to screen the calls and emails.
And it is just possible that someone knows Sister Madly.