Where the Lights Won’t Shine

The Professors seem to be under the impression that Sister Madly is constantly wandering off, getting lost, getting into trouble, or getting mixed up with psychopaths- in other words, completely incapable of taking care of herself. This is patently untrue; Sister Madly never wanders off- it is always deliberate.

She had a good reason this time: she dropped her keys in the toothpaste bush*, and wasted a few precious moments in their recovery.

*A bush that has an overbearing scent of mint and rosemary, despite the fact that it is made up of neither mint nor rosemary.

runaway

Well, they said. That was weird.

Oh, no. Nothing good ever seems to come from that phrase when these turkeys are involved. Unfortunately, Sister Madly couldn’t come up of anything that would be considered unusual even by the Professors’ standards- except that she was running. A typical Sister Madly does not run unless there is something running after her. Or if she just left some zucchini- or some other luxury- on your front porch. ***

(**For your FYI: October 9th was Moldy Cheese Day, in case you were curious about those other ‘luxuries.’ Just be glad that Sister Madly doesn’t know your address.**)

After a quick assessment of the last few minutes, Sister Madly came to the conclusion that this comment had nothing to do with her whatsoever.

streetlight

But it always does.

What do you mean, what’s weird? Three streetlamps, in a row, went dark just as you approached them- didn’t you notice?

Well, of course she noticed! It’s next to impossible to be anything but aware of the fact that the world has plunged into complete darkness at the exact moment you drop your keys into the toothpaste bush. Sister Madly would have to have been an absolute idiot ten months dead to not have noticed that.

However, what she did not say was that this incident was not her first; in fact, it is something she has experienced now and again throughout her life. And just as she’s about to chalk it up to coincidence, some pattern will emerge that leaves her in awe, such as the time 6 in a row went dark, or the time it was every other light; then, of course, her favorite: a zigzag design down the highway. These were streetlights for the most part, but there has been others here and there- most of which, like the streetlights, turn on automatically once it gets dark and off again with the light.

Therefore, the explanation is a simple one: Sister Madly, at random and without realizing it, turns into a big ball of light.

cemetery

The question has been broached as to what the
white flibbertigibbet in the above picture is.
Given the aforementioned explanation,
it could very well be Sister Madly.

While not a satisfactory answer, it was the best she could come up with at a moment’s notice. She would like to claim superpowers as much as anyone, but the fact of the matter is that this is not something that Sister Madly can do at will- that, and she’s seen it happen to many other people over the years, including a family member or two. It would be no fun having a superpower that is neither exclusive nor manageable.

Besides, such a talent would be wasted on Sister Madly. She sees no advantage in engulfing the city with momentary darkness one block at a time, not to mention the impractically of having to walk and/or drive past each streetlight in order to carry out this deed. And while it makes sense that she would make the world dark in order to seek vengeance upon the toothpaste bush, up until the moment she lost her keys Sister Madly harbored no ill-will towards the shrubbery.

007

In the end, that night had little to do with streetlights or the toothpaste bush and more with the fact that Sister Madly could use a narrator in her life, one of those all-knowing, disembodied voices who only meddles when called upon. You see, Sister Madly lives inside her head most of the time, so when she chooses to be out with her friends, goofy though they may be, it’s because she wants a break from herself. She doesn’t want anyone trying to get back in her head after she’s worked so hard to get out. A narrator could save her a whole lot of annoyance, and possibly even be able to explain the streetlight occurrence, which would be a bonus.

Of course, this isn’t always the case; there are moments when Sister Madly engages in meaningful conversation and actually enjoys people; this was just not one of those times.

POST’S THEME SONG: Where the Lights Won’t Shine, Psyched Up Janis

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26 responses

  1. Cnawan Fahey

    I have the same issue with streetlights and failing watch batteries ~ the issues are connected, my dear Sister. You could read up on “Streetlight Interference Phenomenon”, it will “enlighten” you on the situation. I once short-circuited a radio alarm clock as I was reaching for the snooze button. I saw an arc of electricity leap the inch of space between my finger and the button. Don’t remember the dream I was having when the alarm went off, (it must have been pretty powerful) but the clock learned it’s lesson, for it never woke me up again.

    Liked by 2 people

    October 16, 2014 at 7:19 AM

    • Sister Madly

      Those two things are related? That never even occurred to me. But it does make me curious.

      But I have to say, I don’t think that there’s a person on this planet who hasn’t dreamed about nuking the alarm clock. For that, I say BRAVO! 😀

      Liked by 3 people

      October 16, 2014 at 4:38 PM

      • Cnawan Fahey

        Yes, they are related. It’s not that you transform into a ball of light, it’s that your energy field is so strong, and un-contained, that its overloading surrounding circuitry! That has to be it. : )

        Liked by 1 person

        October 16, 2014 at 6:38 PM

        • Sister Madly

          That makes me feel better. I was beginning to feel foolish for not noticing the moments I turn into a big ball of light.

          Like

          October 16, 2014 at 6:53 PM

        • Cnawan Fahey

          I can well imagine that not noticing such a thing would make one feel foolish. I adore you so…

          Liked by 1 person

          October 16, 2014 at 6:56 PM

  2. ~meredith

    weird sister, it is what it is… so sorry for the non-exclusive nature of this, particular, super power (see above post); as you have more than one, however, think gracious thoughts about those poor souls who haven’t made the connection, yet, then thank yourself for knowing to slaughter the pumpkin.

    Like

    October 16, 2014 at 8:10 AM

    • Sister Madly

      Despite any initial frustrations, I do my best to be gracious- or, at least, tolerant. 😉

      I did get another pumpkin in honor of the one that was butchered- let’s hope it survives the weekend.

      Liked by 1 person

      October 16, 2014 at 5:03 PM

  3. cool

    Like

    October 16, 2014 at 9:51 AM

    • Sister Madly

      😀

      Like

      October 16, 2014 at 2:41 PM

  4. Very nicely done Sister! Now if you could find me a branch to chew on and make in to a brush for the paste………

    Go to the light Madly and madly go to the light. Always go to the light! Yes I’m one of those too muhahaha.

    Like

    October 16, 2014 at 9:51 AM

    • Sister Madly

      I can’t go towards the light- it always turns off!

      Liked by 2 people

      October 16, 2014 at 5:09 PM

      • Walk backwards … the lights will think they’re sneaking up on you … who ya gonna believe, me or some dim bulb?

        Liked by 1 person

        October 17, 2014 at 10:21 AM

  5. I find constant narration to be very helpful. Up until now, I have had a first-person narrator. But I am thinking of switching to a third-person narrator like the one celebrities have.

    Like

    October 16, 2014 at 10:25 AM

    • Sister Madly

      Definitely third person- they seem more omniscient. And with some exotic accent. That way, even what is said is unpleasant, it will soften the blow.

      Liked by 1 person

      October 16, 2014 at 2:41 PM

  6. You are crazy Sister Madly. The toothpaste bush. Where did you ever come up with such a metaphor for a minty bush? Hats off to your quirky sense of perception. Bowler, Trilby, Top, Cloche, Boater, Beret; all of them. Loved it 😉

    Like

    October 16, 2014 at 4:03 PM

    • Sister Madly

      Well, when I smelled the rosemary/mint combo, the first thing to come to mind was toothpaste… and the rest is history!

      And thank you! 😀

      Like

      October 16, 2014 at 5:12 PM

  7. LOL, it’s so nice to know somebody else has that super power. I am forever shutting down street lights, shorting out assorted electronics, and making clocks spin.

    I want a personal narrator too! And he has to be British. Also, you don’t suppose I could order some background music? There are just some times in my life when the theme from Jaws should be playing in the background.

    Like

    October 16, 2014 at 4:23 PM

    • Sister Madly

      I hadn’t even thought about background music! That- as well as an accent- is a definite must!

      Like

      October 16, 2014 at 5:20 PM

  8. I am tempted to give you my address now….

    Like

    October 17, 2014 at 3:18 PM

    • Sister Madly

      That Moldy Cheese is calling to you, huh? 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      October 17, 2014 at 4:03 PM

  9. I think the moldy cheese person found my address but about a week late. But thanks for the explanation.

    Like

    October 18, 2014 at 8:35 PM

    • Sister Madly

      Anytime!

      Like

      October 19, 2014 at 1:02 PM

  10. I could use a toothpaste bush myself. Are cuttings available?

    Like

    October 22, 2014 at 6:06 PM

    • Sister Madly

      If you own a pair of sheers and can run really fast, then yes!

      Like

      October 23, 2014 at 12:11 AM

  11. dara40

    Love this site. You inspire my creativity. I do like your narrative voice. Yes, it can soften the blow. I need that too! When I read your stories, I feel like I’m in a semi Poe-esque world, with a hint of sarcastic humor and yes maybe somewhere in Europe (London?). Or maybe Sister Madly just seems British to me. I am a new reader though, so forgive me if I’m incorrect. Love the stories though.

    Like

    October 25, 2014 at 10:31 AM

    • Sister Madly

      Thank you!! Yes, everyday that passes, the idea of a narrator becomes more appealing. Perhaps it is time to put out a ‘Help Wanted’ ad.

      And you are more than welcome to think of Sister Madly as European. I like to think that too. 😉

      Like

      October 26, 2014 at 11:39 AM

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