Sister Madly and the Dodo

Sister Madly is a Renaissance Faire Junkie; the layman’s term for this is nerd. But she is not a full-on nerd: she does not care if her costume is historically accurate, nor does she pretend to enjoy Shakespeare, Tolkien or the Princess Bride. Yet, despite this love for most things Medieval, she cheerfully lacks the knowledge of some of the more significant events of the era.

It was over 10 years ago that she first encountered the Dodo. It wasn’t that she had never seen this creature before- indeed, there was something vaguely familiar about him- it was that this time, she was particularly cheeky about it. She went on to make the very vocal assumption that he was a part of a cult that worshiped the Dodo, for that is what he looked like, and that he was the Big Hoot.

So, what could the Dodo do about it? Well, diagnose you with the Plague, for one.

001

Sister Madly felt that this was a bit impulsive on his part. She, after all, had been enduring various tauntings of wench for hours without much malice, and had decided that anyone dressed as extravagantly as he was asking for it. She was fairly certain that name-calling was not a symptom of this malady, but that was as far as she got with her argument. Besides, who died and made him Almighty Diagnoser of the Plague?

While there were more civilized alternatives at her disposal, Sister Madly’s ultimate decision was to kick the Dodo’s cane out from under him, but this merely resulted in a clumsy pirouette that sent her face first into some reddish muck and left her looking like an autopsy.

However, all was not a total failure, for it was here that she learned how to stifle a sneeze. And it was not going to be a dainty sneeze- those are simply not in her DNA. It was going to be powerful, it was going to be devastating, and it was going to prove that the Dodo was right- that Sister Madly had the Plague.

The sneeze came, with all the sudden, deep inhalation of its kind, including that all-too-attractive screwing up of the face- but then, nothing. Simply gone, much like her Popple in the days of yore. For a few moments there, Sister Madly marveled at this newfound superpower and all of its possibilities, then sulked at the realization that it was simply impossible to sneeze while confined in a leather bodice.

She looked forward to her next sneeze back in the natural world, with plans on imitating the unholy restriction of the bodice. When it came, she was able to stifle the sneeze like a pro. But there is a drawback to doing this in public: while you can prepare yourself by pretending to be wearing a bodice and/or corset, while you can go through all the deep inhalations to find that the sneeze has abandoned you (again, like her Popple) you have already made the crazy face. At least with the sneeze, people will know the reason for this.

But if you are on a mission that requires the utmost discretion, this may, indeed, save your life.

POST’S THEME SONG: Bigmouth Strikes Again, The Smiths

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10 responses

  1. Was the switch to first person intentional in the 5th paragraph? Or is it the 6th? Regardless, anything with bacon is a win. Thank you, Sister Madly. I hope this cures my plague affliction.

    With Love,

    -JT

    Like

    February 15, 2014 at 12:48 PM

    • Sister Madly

      T’was indeed intentional. Whenever Sister Madly gets into trouble, she disappears into alter ego land and leaves me to take the fall.
      And I sincerely believe that bacon is a cure-all for the plague- regardless of what the Dodo says.

      Like

      February 15, 2014 at 1:10 PM

  2. I must agree. Do not follow the Dodo…

    Like

    February 15, 2014 at 1:57 PM

  3. That was great fun to read. I love your blog. Well done!
    I’m not to sure about rutabagas, however.

    Like

    February 15, 2014 at 4:57 PM

    • Sister Madly

      Thank you! I’m certainly having fun with it.
      Rutabagas work in this recipe due to the strong tang of the vinegar and sauerkraut. I am not one to eat them on their own- also, they require a hatchet to chop.

      Like

      February 15, 2014 at 5:16 PM

  4. Are you sure the Dodo is of male persuasion? Could said Dodo be a gender bender? For I too have encountered the Dodo in an other guise and named the creature such.

    Perhaps it is of the world gone mad and they, just perhaps are spy and spy and not spy vs spy?

    http://transitionu.wordpress.com/2014/08/29/dodo/

    And, and and …. did someone say there was bacon?

    Like

    September 22, 2014 at 3:20 PM

    • Sister Madly

      Oh, he was definitely male. And quite tall. But I do not doubt that he has cohorts out there preying on other people.
      But unlike your encounter, he did not chirp. Thankfully. 🙂

      As for the bacon… there was once a recipe attached, but I pulled it when I realized I had posted the wrong one.

      Like

      September 22, 2014 at 4:02 PM

  5. Stifling sneezes is an important skill to learn. Being precocious, I picked it up while climbing out my bedroom window when I was 12. I knew sneezing would put my parents on to my midnight forays deep into the wilds of the backyard. The spare fence gate leaning against the wall directly beneath my window wouldn’t give me away. They’d think it was just that the other had chosen an odd place to store the gate.

    Liked by 1 person

    January 31, 2017 at 2:23 AM

    • Learning to stile a sneeze is definitely a valuable skill, but mastering the psychology of parents with a suspiciously placed gate- that is priceless!

      Liked by 1 person

      January 31, 2017 at 11:49 AM

      • I’m quite sure they never caught on! Even when I changed bedrooms and the gate moved from the back of the house to the front.

        Liked by 1 person

        February 1, 2017 at 4:46 AM

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