Sweet Jalapeno Soup ~ That Time She Glued Herself to an Opium Pipe

Leaving Sister Madly to her own devices often results in a lot of no good, whether it be needlessly updating her revenge list, engaging in what-happens-when-you-do-this curiosities, or making what-the-hell purchases. Some of her more recent what-the-hell purchases have included a shrimp fork, a parsnip, a purple doorknob, a zebra print shower cap, and an antique opium pipe.

Unlike the shrimp fork, the opium pipe has become the prize of her collection, one subject to regular dustings and impish smiles- it even has its own display rack. So when she found that the pipe was coming loose in places, Sister Madly stuck it back together again with a little known adhesive called Super Glue…

opipe

Yes, there were visions of Sister Madly waltzing into Walgreens with an opium pipe glued to her hand in an attempt to find some nail polish remover. Tallulah, her sister/roommate/she-who-had-called-earlier-in-the-day-to-say-that-she-would-not-be-coming-home-that-night, had only acetone-free nail polish remover, lord knows why. Apparently, she did not even consider the possibility of Sister Madly fusing herself to an opium pipe at 11:30 one fine autumn night. Sister Madly finds this very irresponsible of Tallulah.

There was also the small matter of having to explain this predicament should someone ask- particularly someone with authority. Sister Madly hadn’t been smoking the pipe, most assuredly, but having just glued it to her hand might cause one to doubt her credibility, if not her faculties.

pipe

Faced with this possibility, she decided to tackle this predicament on her own, thank you, through a ritual that involved primordial grunting, cursing of the gods and methodically ripping her hand away from the pipe, thus returning herself to her former glory. It is safe to say that the pain was minimal compared to the humiliation which no doubt would have resulted from the aforementioned Walgreens scenario. As for the loss of skin… actually, there was no skin lost; Sister Madly knew exactly where it was.

Needless to say, one should know better than to send an unsupervised Sister Madly out for sweet potatoes. This resulted in a big roll of blue bubble wrap, some bendy straws, chocolate milk, and several pounds of shallots.

She did manage to get the sweet potatoes, although they were purple…

purple soup3

SWEET (POTATO) JALAPENO SOUP

  • 1 medium onion, chopped
  • 3-5 cloves garlic, sliced
  • 4 lg sweet potatoes, peeled and cubed (any color)
  • 6-8 cups chicken or vegetable broth (enough to cover potatoes)
  • 4-5 jalapeno peppers, coarsely chopped and seeded to taste
  • 1 tsp cumin
  • 1/2 cup cilantro leaf, chopped
  • 3 celery stalks, chopped
  • 3 carrots, chopped
  • 1/2 cup heavy cream, (opt, for a creamier consistency- did not use)
  • salt and pepper to taste

In a large stock pot, saute onion and garlic in butter or oil until tender
Add sweet potatoes, chicken broth, cumin and jalapenos
Cover and cook until potatoes are tender
Add cilantro and cream
Coarsely mash potatoes with a potato masher
Add carrots and celery
Simmer for 15 minutes, stirring frequently

POST’S THEME SONG: Brilliant Mistake, Elvis Costello

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11 responses

  1. Hilarious post! 😀

    Like

    February 5, 2014 at 12:48 PM

    • Sister Madly

      Upon reflection, yes. But at the time… not so much. 🙂

      Like

      February 5, 2014 at 3:17 PM

  2. Brilliant recipe, wonderful title for a blog post, bravo, good theme song choice, too.

    Like

    February 5, 2014 at 3:05 PM

    • Sister Madly

      Thank you. I’ve enjoyed your posts as well!

      Like

      February 5, 2014 at 3:18 PM

  3. I would like to try this recipe out! Looks scrumptious. Do i really need the opium pipe in order to turn it blue? Haha

    Like

    February 6, 2014 at 10:10 PM

    • Sister Madly

      It is not the pipe itself; rather, what is IN the pipe that makes things so colourful!

      Like

      February 6, 2014 at 11:09 PM

  4. This is perhaps worthy of making the list of strangest looking soup of the year. There is not actually a list, that I know of; however, if there was, surely this soup would be on it. I do hope you learned from the habanero eyes while handling the jalapenos…

    -JT

    Like

    February 15, 2014 at 12:57 PM

    • Sister Madly

      Purple sweet potatoes were just too hard to resist!
      Jalapeno eyes were averted; however, an ill-timed sneeze later on that evening resulted in jalapeno nose, which is also a lot of no-fun.

      Like

      February 15, 2014 at 1:12 PM

  5. I don’t think I could resist purple sweet potatoes, either…

    Like

    February 15, 2014 at 1:56 PM

  6. The beauty of the removal of the pipe is you won’t be leaving those pesky incriminating finger prints behind on your lab visits. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    March 13, 2015 at 11:39 AM

    • Sister Madly

      Don’t think that I haven’t thought of that. Still, it’s a lot of trouble to go through every time the fingerprints grow back.

      Liked by 1 person

      March 13, 2015 at 12:43 PM

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